printing labels 

Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. --- Thomas Jefferson
A wife and husband both talked in their sleep.She loved auctions; his hobby was golf. One night, the golfer yelled, "Fore!". His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter!"
Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his 5 kids together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. The children all stared back at him in silence. Then he asked, "Who never talks back to mother?" Again the kids appeared to be mystified by the question. Then Tom asked, "Who does everything she says?" With that question, the kids were finally able to come to a conclusion. The five small voices answered in unison, "Okay, dad, you get the toy."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Field, London, England Robbers tried to use a cab for a getaway Two thieves that failed to plan ahead sufficiently were foiled when their getaway driver proved uncooperative during a raid on the Holyhead branch of Argos. David Field and an accomplice attempted to make their escape with two stolen TVs by the same cab that ferried them to then store. Having run inside and picked up two widescreen sets, they jumped into the back seat with another two accessories and told cabbie Darren Renton to “drive”. Unfortunately for the robbers, their unwilling partner in the crime told them: “Are you having a laugh?” “They really started to panic then, and started offering to make it worth my while, to pay me off,” said Mr Renton. “But I just told them to get out of the car.” Three of the thieves escaped when store staff got the two TVs out of the boot of the taxi, but Field was caught. Yesterday, Field pleaded guilty in court to the theft of a television worth £279 and was given a 12-month conditional discharge order, to run concurrently with a six-month order given for an earlier offence.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosalie Re: printing labels Good Morning Webby: You start my mornings off with a good laugh each day. I need to know how to print labels for envelopes. It's getting difficult to write them all out for holidays, etc. What program is the easiest to learn? Thanks for your reply. Rosalie Dear Rosalie Open Office is free and has a very complete word processor included. It has step by step instructions included for everything from selecting the brand and type of label that you use, to merging address lists, even huge databases. Word Perfect, now part of Corel Office, is pretty smooth and slick too. Word Perfect got the envelope and label printing licked in the days when you still had to lick the labels, and an entire generation of office workers used nothing but Word Perfect for tasks like that. You can get OEM versions of Corel Office from OEM suppliers or on eBay fro $5 - $15. Have FUN! DearWebby
An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is "gross" and the other is "cool." From the back of the room a voice called out, "So, what are these gross and cool words?
Daily tip from Prepare for Tax Time Here are a few things I do to prepare for tax time. 1. Start only when feeling sharp, refreshed, and clear headed. If there are errors, it will only delay that return you need so badly. 2. Have a space where you can leave your papers and documents out for a day or two, and do not have to be gathered up for the evening meal. 3. Use the free tax services online instead of the expensive tax prep places. Even this old non-tax-savvy granny can do it. 4. Read the instructions on the site carefully. Mistakes can be made. Read your answers over carefully and double check your figures, even if you are sure you made no errors. You may be surprised to find that info you type often (name,soc. sec. # etc.) can have a typo because of haste. 5. If you get too frazzled, stop and take a break. A walk, cup of coffee, time with the family etc can give your brain a fresh jump-start. 6. Have a quiet environment to do your taxes in. Pets running, or kids playing loudly are not helpful to detailed work. 7. Have all your papers together before you even start. Searching for important stuff can break your concentration and cause some confusion. (Where was I now?) By Phyllis from Wisconsin Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

On a balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship spied smoke coming from one of three huts on an island they thought was deserted. Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a survivor. He said, "I'm so glad you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than three years!" The captain of the ship replied, "But we saw THREE huts." The survivor said, "Oh. We'll, I live in one, and go to church in another." "What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain. "That's where I USED to go to church."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a bloody nose and a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."

» Waterfalls
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 205 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 439 )

<<First <Back | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | 120 | Next> Last>>