Short URLs 

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It's Saturday, January 30, 2010

Life is not merely to be alive, but to be well. --- Marcus Valerius Martial An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. --- Alfred A. Knopf
An inter-church gathering was well attended when someone suddenly cried "FIRE!" The Methodists gathered in a corner to pray. The Baptists hollered "Everyone in the water !" The Lutherans nailed a paper to the door declaring fire was evil. The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out in an orderly manner. The Unitarians concluded the fire had as much right to be there as anyone. The Christian Scientists agreed there really wasn't a fire. The 7th Day Adventists said it was "the vengeance of an angry God." The Presbyterians formed a committee to study the problem. The Catholics passed the plate to cover the damages. The janitor grabbed a fire extinguisher and put the fire out.
Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed and discussing any abnormalities with each other that they may have seen in passers-by. They saw this old fellow sort of duck waddling down the street at a slow pace. The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the old mans problem. One says, "my friend thinks you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, and I think you have a hernia." The old man said, "Well, I thought it was a going to be fart, but it looks like all three of us were wrong with our guessing."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jessica Kathleen Alexander, 18, and Tammy Nicole Ortega, 29, from Telford, Tennessee 2 cheap Tennessee hookers jailed Two Telford, TN women have been arrested and charged with filing a false rape report. Washington County, TN investigators arrested Tammy Nicole Ortega, age 29, 255 Browning Road, Telford and Jessica Kathleen Alexander, age 18, 255 Browning Road, Telford. Both were charged with Filing a False Police Report. Both women claimed they went outside their residence to check on barking dogs and two men threw them down and started raping them. Both women later recanted, telling Sheriff’s investigators that the rapes did not happen. Ortega and Alexander stated they met a man on a telephone chat line, then offered to meet him and have sex in exchange for a pack of cigarettes. Police say the women met the male subject and did indeed trade sex for a pack of cigarettes. After the sex, the man left, and the women decided to file a police report claiming they were raped. Alexander later stated they filed the false police report because they didn’t enjoy the sex. Ortega was charged with an additional count of Filing a False Police Report from an incident in November of 2008, in which she reported a Vandalism/Arson to the front porch of her rented residence. Ortega stated she gave false information to Sheriff’s Deputies regarding the incident. The investigation is ongoing and more arrests are pending. Tammy Nicole Ortega is being held in the Washington County Detention Center on a $10,000.00 bond and is scheduled for arraignment in Jonesborough Session Court on January 29, 2010 at 9:00am. Jessica Kathleen Alexander is being held in the Washington County Detention Center on a $5,000.00 bond and is scheduled for arraignment in Jonesborough Session Court on January 29, 2010 at 9:00am
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annabel Re: Short URLs Dear Webby Sometimes you use some very short URLs for links. How do you get those? I realize that some yahoos are griping and sniveling about them, and call them "cloaking" and deceiving, but I sure prefer the shorter ones. Annabel Dear Annabel Depending on the browser and version of subscription a subscriber has, a long URL can really mess up the formatting. Whenever a URL is longer than an average line, I shorten it. You can go to, or similar sites, and paste the long URL. They shorten it down for you.It is a free service. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead dinosaur with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?". The pigmy said "Yes." The hunter asked "How could a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" Said the pigmy: "With my club." The astonished hunter asked: "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied: "There's about 60 of us."
Daily tip from Reuse the Plastic Bags You Already Have Instead of buying re-usable bags for your purchases, save and re-use the plastic bags that you already have at home. I bought the re-usable ones, and found that I did not have enough of them. I buy a lot of groceries at a time, and just simply did not have enough bags. Buying as many as I needed was a cost factor; plus, I always wound up not having them in the car, which totally defeated the purpose in the first place. Then I thought of just keeping the plastic bags that I already had, in the car. Takes up far less space, didn't cost me anything, and I have lots more of them. By Carole from Locust Fork, AL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a attractive young woman asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk." That's fine," replied the woman. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old woman standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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An IRS man asks a farmer, "How much is your prize bull worth?" The farmer says, "For tax purposes, or has he been hit by a train?"

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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