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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, February 13, 2010
One day until Guilt Day!
If you forget, you WILL be made to feel guilty.

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms. --- Alan Corenk
A teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the teacher decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals. "I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees." The children looked at her blankly. "I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns." No response. This wasn't going well at all! Finally a kid volunteered: "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"
Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for sending this picture: Go away you silly cat!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephen M. Bosch, 36 in Lexington, Kentucky Dopey Victim A Lexington man was charged with trafficking marijuana Tuesday after reporting that someone had stolen his drugs, according to court documents. Stephen M. Bosch, 36, told Lexington police an armed man had forced his way into his apartment on Crosby Drive around 10:30 p.m. and took $180, according to police reports. While inside, officers noticed the smell of marijuana, and then Bosch admitted the man had also taken 101/2 grams of pot, the reports say. Police searched Bosch's residence and found another $225 in cash, a digital scale, rolling papers and other paraphernalia and an additional 140 grams of marijuana, which had been hidden in the garbage, the report says. In addition to trafficking, Bosch is charged with tampering with physical evidence and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was released Wednesday from the Fayette County jail on 10 percent of a $3,350 bond. Lt. Doug Pape said Lexington police are investigating the robbery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Can't vote I can't vote today. Something is wrong with your article today. Helen Dear Helen My article is just fine. The problem is at the Ezinefinder, a totally neutral company that is not hosted by us. That is quite common for most sites, as you probably have noticed with many of the Bonus Links. Have FUN! DearWebby
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how for Valentines this year he'd love to wake up on Valentines morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early on Valentines morning." Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the links. The first guy says, "Boy, this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it." Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures." Number 3 guy says " Well, my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual." They all turn to the last guy in the group and he is staring at them like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I patted my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, is it sex or golf?' and she said, 'Take your sweater, looks like it might be windy out there'."
Daily tip from Valentine's Day Cookie Decorating Kit While my friend was recovering from hip surgery she was unable to bake and decorate Valentine's Day cookies with her granddaughter. Both of them were pretty disappointed. So I made up a batch of my sugar cookies, cut them into Valentine's shapes and baked them. I got a few containers of ready-to-spread frosting, food coloring, sprinkles and other toppings and packed them (carefully) in a festive container and delivered them to her. My friend was elated with the surprise of the care package I had put together, and the ability of partaking in the annual cookie decorating event that they always had together! This made their day, and mine! This idea can also be used for kids off to college, elderly folks, birthday gifts, housewarmings and more! By Shirley from Hastings, MI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Joe: Why don't you play golf with Bob any more? Jeff: Would you play with someone who curses after each shot, cheats in the bunkers and enters false scores on his card? Joe: No! Jeff: Neither will Bob.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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The West Texas farmer had been taken so many times by the local car dealer that when the dealer wanted to buy a $200 cow, the farmer priced it to him like this: Basic cow $200 Two-tone exterior $ 45 Extra stomach $ 75 Product storage compartment $ 60 Dispensing device, Four spigots @ $10 ea. $ 40 Genuine cowhide upholstery $125 Dual horns $ 15 Automatic fly swatter $ 35 __________ Total = $595

What a Squeak
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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