IE&, IE8, SP3 Blockers 

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It's Thursday, February 25, 2010

All you have to do is know where you're going. The answers will come to you of their own accord. --- Earl Nightingale Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them. --- Dr. Martin Henry Fischer
The pastor had launched into one of his "Best Ever"messages. He was about half done, at the 45-minute mark and just getting to the "good part," when a member of his congregation died. Rushing to his office, he dialed 911. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics carried out 51 people before they finally got one who didn't wake up when they got him to fresh air.
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: "Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut the @#$%$@# up!!!" The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a voice bellowed out from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"
Re yesterdays "Missing Dollar Joke: Put it into a spreadsheet or on a piece of paper, in two columns, Credit and Debit It becomes clear instantly. In the joke they just used governmentese to mix up credits and debits.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Florida Tax department Sent in by Deeli What have fact got to do with it? We got records! PORT ORANGE, Fla., Feb. 10 (UPI) -- A Florida man says the state is trying to force him to pay child support for a child, who was born when he was 7 years old. Rusty Cole, a National Guardsman from Port Orange, Fla., said his tax return was held up by the state because officials told him he owes support payments for a child born in 1995 -- when he himself was 7 yers old, Central Florida News 13 reported Wednesday. Cole said weeks of phone calls and office visits failed to yield any results. "They were like, 'Oh, yes, we have it on here that you are the father,' and I was like, 'Ma'am, there's no way,'" Cole said to News 13. He said an e-mail message to Gov. Charlie Crist finally yielded him an apology from the department of revenue and the promise that his return would be processed. However, Cole said he will not consider the matter closed until the return is in his hands and he is ensured it will not be a problem again. "I want this completely off my record," Cole told the television station. "I don't want this ever affecting me later on in life."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ronald Re: IE 7, 8, SP3 blockers Dear Webby I have always done the express install for Windows updates, so I am guessing that SP3 is installed on my hard drive. To Eileen you recommended that she get IE7, IE8, and SP3 blockers from the tool box. Will the blockers remove these items from my computer, or must I first eliminate them, and then install the blockers. If this is the case how do I go about removing them? I have been getting your newsletter since I got my first computer, and hooked it up to the net. I look forward to starting my day with it. You are absolutely the best on the web! Thank you for such a fantastic newsletter. There are none like it out there. Ronald Dear Ronald The blockers only block installation. They don't remove anything already installed. Removal can be tricky and is not consistent from one machine to another. If your machine runs OK with SP3, then don't worry. SP3 works OK on about 60% of computers, though it does seem to slow them down a little bit. With the other 40% you lose the use of peripherals like printers or cameras, etc. Same problem as with Vista, where they expected printer and peripheral makers to write new drivers for devices that had been sold and paid for years ago. So, if you didn't lose any peripherals, don't lose any sleep over it. As for IE7 and IE8, they have security problems and are a bit klutzy. Entire Governments have forbidden their employees to use them on Government computers. The same goes for Industry and Commerce. FireFox is better anyway, and for those, who need to be a bit different, there is Opera. If you do a lot of text reading, you can use Apple Safari for that. It's not much of a browser for anything else, but their text rendering is superb. You can run Safari safely side by side with FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby
Q: What's the difference between Biology and Sociology? A: When the baby looks like the father, its Biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, its Sociology!
Daily tip from Use Your Bathroom Mirror as a Reminder Board When I am in the bathroom each morning putting my makeup on and doing my hair, I am always thinking of things I need to do (Dr. appt., errands to run, calls to make, gifts to get, birthday reminders, the list goes on) or stuff I need to buy at the store. One day I had a dry erase marker in my bathroom drawer (why I even put it there in the first place is beyond me). I got it out and began writing my thoughts on the mirror. Wow. this was a life saver for me! When I'm done in the bathroom I transfer the list to paper and put it in my purse immediately. If it is something that needs to be done around the house I leave it on the mirror until it is done (or if company is coming over, I write it down elsewhere). I hope this works well for you too! By Donna from Northlake, TX (Roanoke) Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The floppy drive is the drive below the beverage holder where you put those silvery beer coasters that AOL keeps sending! Even I knows that! Billy-Jean
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so does my husband." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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