What is a PPS? 

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It's Tuesday, March 2, 2010

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Never answer a critic, unless he's right. --- Bernard M. Baruch
In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e."
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check and cashed it in the store, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You are really a country hick, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to one of Bridgeton, NJ's town drunks Drunk calls 911 from the back of police car BRIDGETON State police said an intoxicated man being driven to his southern New Jersey home by troopers called 911 and claimed they were kidnapping him. The incident began after the Bridgeton man - whose name was not disclosed - was taken to the state police barracks in that Cumberland County community. Law enforcement officers had found him while investigating a disorderly persons call in Bridgeton and decided to transport him home, putting him in the cruiser's back seat. After making the fake 911 call, he continued to be disorderly despite repeated warnings. When the troopers pulled over and tried to arrest him, he resisted but was eventually restrained and taken back to the barracks. He was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and obstruction.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nita Re: What's a PPS ? Dear Webby, Please explain to me what you meant about Joan's picture. What is a PPS? Thanks for the "Good old days" picture. Nita Dear Nita a PPS is a Power Point Show, a slide show. Usually, they are quite huge and would take way too long to download with your dial-up. Out of consideration for that, people won't normally send them to you. If you ever decide to get High Speed, people will send 2-3 a day to you, and you will probably pass them on to others just as frequently.. I looked for a tiny one and attached it. It is called The_Window.pps (For the rest of you, I uploaded it: The Window ) You may need to download the PowerPoint Viewer from my Tool Box to view PPS files. Have FUN! DearWebby
A rather boring joke I heard today reminded me of a fun incicent. Many years ago when I was taking a required course in the process of becoming an electrician, we also had to take some basics physics. Personally, I always loved physics, probably because deep down inside I am still a kid that is fascinated by anything that makes noise or moves. Most of the people in the class hated physics, and one guy in particular did a lot of complaining about it and asking why it was necessary. Finally the instructor had enough and he told him that physics was required to save his live. Naturally the guy fell for that straight line and asked how physics would save his live. "It saves lives", the instructor thundered at him, "because it keeps you from finishing the course, and because if you passed my class and then later burned down a house with your lack of knowledge, I'd have to go and shoot you." That guy quit the course right there
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cola as a Cheap Steak Marinade My husband is a retired butcher and I am certified in Culinary Arts. Marinades are expensive. Try soaking your beef steak or roast in Cola or Dr. Thunder from Walmart. Cover for 24 hrs. Then season and cook. Unbelievably tender! By Jeanne from Elysian Fields, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Californians are a strange people. They'll put every chemical known to man up their nostrils, and get so warped from snorting, that they tell you it's bad for you if you put sugar in your coffee!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets. Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie. The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a 'bug' planted by the conspiracy defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters In Washington, DC for analysis. Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests. "We're not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.'"

Monopoly WWII Version
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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