snmaster.idx database file is missing / in the slum, and naked 



Zoom the font size for best readability  
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 15, 2010

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault. --- Henry Kissinger Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? --- Dick Clark
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I backed into his wheelchair with the car."
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jason Botos, 30, Papillon, nebraska Nebraska. man too drunk for DUI sentencing PAPILLION, Neb. (AP) - Authorities said a 30-year-old-man showed up so drunk for his sentencing for drunken driving that he missed his hearing and now faces even more time behind bars. Authorities said Jason Botos was driven to the Papillion courthouse on Thursday by his father, who needed help from deputies to get his son out of the vehicle. Prosecutor Ben Perlman said Botos was so drunk he couldn't attend the hearing, so the judge issued a warrant. Deputies arrested Botos in the parking lot. Another hearing is set for Tuesday. A jail spokeswoman said Botos remained in custody Friday. Botos had pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drunken driving in a September 2009 collision with five other vehicles.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mary Re: snmaster.idx database file is missing Dear dr. webby, I think I need someone to take my computer licence away from me. I have this message coming up telling me I need to reinstall this file ( snmaster.idx database file is missing ) I have no idea where or how it went missing. You are the best there is because you have always helped when I am in trouble & I think this missing file maybe the reason I can not get my McAfee to run. HELP !!! As always Thank You for being here able to help. Mary Dear Mary If it was up to me, I would not take away your computer license. I would take away your AOL and force you to graduate. From what I read, that problem is a pissing contest between AOL 9 and VISTA, and if you are using the AOL version of McAfee instead of the full version, then McAfee won't work either. You are in the slum, and you are naked. There is a LOT of writing about that problem on the net, however, no two people seem to agree on how to fix the problem. They all seem to agree, though, 1) that calling AOL support is a waste of time, and that 2) switching to Vista was a dumb move. Try deleting your AOL desktop shortcut, and make a new one. That worked for one AOLer. Another one had luck with downloading that file from daol.aol.com/software/91 and re-installing it. Without that file apparently you can not even do a clean UN-install of AOL, since it not only has your password, but also the master record of all the various mysterious places where AOL hid files. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while, when the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts." The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss." So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What are ye thinkin' now?" To which the lad grumbled, "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Insulate Windows With Bubblewrap A great way to insulate windows in the winter and summer, is to use Bubblewrap. It not only insulates, but it still lets light in. It won't grow mold, and can be washed. I put it inside my windows. You can hang it up with just a few tacks or push-pins. By JLS If at all possible, use double-sided tape and attach the bubble wrap 7 cm (2 1/2 inches) from the glass, with un-vented dead air space between the glass and the bubble-wrap. That is the absolute optimal distance for insulating that way, but anything from one to three inches is still excellent. If the window is hinged, you can make a frame froim 2x2's and stretch the bubble-wrap over that frame, then attach that frame to the window. That way you can open the window without any fuss. Unless you want a hot-box for pre-heating the water for the water heater or pool, make sure windows that are insulated that way, are shaded in summer or have blinds or shutters on the OUTSIDE. That 7cm trick of course also works for greenhouses. If you see somebody upgrading their windows, try to get the old single pane windows to make a simple lean-to greenhouse on a side of the house or apartment balcony. Just make sure that the glass is on the outside. UV from the sunlight destroys bubble-wrap in one season. Glass stops the UV. Unless you want boiled tomatoes, you will have to provide venting on hot summer days. That trick works a lot better than you expect. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a proctologist."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure.

Bridges
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 217 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 463 )

<<First <Back | 110 | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | Next> Last>>