Irfanview for printing PPS pictures 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, March 20, 2010

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. --- Larry Hardiman The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors. --- Socratex
A class from a nearby university was visiting a major drug manufacturer. The tour guide led the students to a glass- enclosed room. They could see several people in white lab coats. With her back to the glass, the guide announced: "In this room researchers are actively searching for a cure for cancer." She stopped short as the group broke out laughing. Puzzled, the guide turned to look. Through the glass she saw three scientists in animated debate, flipping through the pages of a Boston Pizza menu.
A minister, a priest and a rabbi were enjoying the serenity of a country dipping pond. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, a group of very old ladies from town approached them. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied: "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my FACE that they would recognize."
Sea Slugs
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 20 year old former driver in Kelowna, BC Sent in by Jackie Z Smoking pot next to cop KELOWNA, B.C. — Lesson one for new drivers - don‘t drive and smoke pot from your bong next to a police van. A 20-year-old Kelowna, B.C., man learned that the hard way when a prisoner van covered with RCMP decals pulled up next to his passenger side at a red light. The driver reached for a glass bong, placed marijuana in the bowl, lit it and inhaled the smoke. “The policeman (was) right there, not more than five feet away,” said RCMP Const. Steve Holmes. “Clearly, the driver was oblivious to the large, white, fully marked police van.” Holmes said the Mountie pulled the man over and smelled the burning pot inside his car, which contained a small amount of cannabis and displayed an N sticker to designate a new driver. The man received a 24-hour driving suspension for operating a vehicle under the influence and a ticket for driving without reasonable consideration. The car was towed away, and the Insurance Corp. of B.C. must now determine whether he should be allowed to keep driving, Holmes said. (Kelowna Daily Courier) -------- BC is Canada's equivalent of California.Very Socialist, even the mandatory car insurance (ICBC) is run by the provincial Goverment. If they cancel his insurance, without refund, the car stays off the road. And just like in California, a lot of people in BC are not really sure, if Marijuana is legal or not. The RCMP is more interested in hard drugs, but obviously, blowing smoke at them is not a good idea.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Irfanview Dear Webby, do you know anything about downloading Irfanview? Is it worth downloading and what is it used for? Someone told me you can print pictures from a power point picture with it. As always, I respect your thoughts and enjoy all that you send us. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Irfanview is a fairly good image viewer, and because it is free, it is quite popular. If you don't have a real graphics program like PaintShopPro, Corel Draw, Photoshop or GIMP, it is definitely helpful. You can do some basic graphic editing like resizing, cropping, rotating, sharpening, etc., but the user interface definitely takes some getting used to. Like PaintShopPro, it is easy on the computer resources, and won't bog down the machine. If you want to go a bit further than the very basics, there are a bunch of plug-ins that you can download and add into it. Keep in mind, though, it is intended as a VIEWER, with occasional, rare editing, not as a full featured graphics program. If you just want to print some pictures from a Powerpoint presentation, you can use Open Office. Just set the printer to for example Landscape, sized to fit the page, then go to the picture that you want, and hit the printer icon. Just don't tell the kids, or your ink will be empty. Have FUN! DearWebby
A preacher was really hitting his stride one Sunday, delivering a sermon on sin. "Is there anyone here who is without SIN?" he shouted, glowering at the congregation. Embarrassed parishioners stirred nervously in their seats, but no one stood. Feeling he really had them this time, the preacher roared, "Is there anyone here who thinks he or she is PERFECT?" One small man, seated next to a rather imposing woman, rose nervously to his feet. "So, Brother Jones, you think YOU are PERFECT?" Quietly the man replied, "No, Reverend, I'm just standing for my wife's previous husband."
Daily tip from Eliminating Leftovers and Food Waste It seems I am the only person in my home that will eat leftovers. Would you throw cold hard cash in the garbage pail or down the garbage disposal? Of course not, but allowing leftovers to go uneaten or allowing dairy products and produce to go bad is the equivalent of throwing money away. To demonstrate this, try this experiment for one week: Each time you throw a meal size serving into the garbage, set aside $2 (the approximate cost of a Lean Cuisine meal). In the same fashion, set aside the equivalent cash for each container of milk, sour cream, half consumed bottles of pop, half eaten pop tarts, bags of chips and stale or moldy sandwich bread you dispose of. You will be appalled at the amount of money you are throwing away! I guarantee if you do this for several weeks you will reduce your grocery bills. Plan on having a leftover meal a week to use up those leftovers or freeze and take in your lunch instead of purchasing a frozen meal. Do not purchase perishable items unless you have a plan to use them before they expire. As potatoes or onions near their shelf life, cut and freeze for hash browns or to use in casseroles in the future. Place a large container in the freezer and place tablespoons of vegetables or roast beef into it. When the container is full, we add a can of tomato sauce and have a deliciously rich beef vegetable soup. This is a great way to use up leftover vegetables! With a bit of practice you can slash your grocery bills and stop throwing money away - literally! By Diana from Prospect, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

An American journalist was stopped at a Russian Checkpoint in Chechnya. The Russian soldier said, "Get out of the car and open the trunk!" The American replied, "I'm sorry, but the handbrake on the rental car is broken. I can't take my foot off the brake or it'll roll back down the hill." So the Russian says, "Do you take me for a FOOL?!" as he slides into the passenger seat, and stamps his big boot onto the brake pedal. "Now, go and open the trunk!" So the journalist reluctantly complies with the soldiers request and goes and opens the trunk of the car. "Now", shouts the Russian from inside the car, "Is there any contraband in there?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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When Patty, was very young, she was allowed to have her best friend, a boy named Rory, over to spend the night. As the children grew toward adolescence, their parents knew that someday the sleepovers would have to end. One night, when Rory and his family were visiting, everyone gathered around the television to watch the Miss America pageant. When Patty asked if Rory could stay over, the parents hesitated, wondering if the time had finally come to discontinue the tradition. At that moment, the pageant host announced a contestant's measurements: 38-22-34. "Rory," his mom asked, "what are those numbers?" The boy thought for only a moment before responding, "Ninety-four?" Rory got to spend the night....

» Behind 4 civic groups
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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