Cleaning keyboards 

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It's Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass-produced with unskilled labor. --- Werner von Braun
A southern woman was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a man coming towards her. "Tell - me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is - m - ass - out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hat's on crooked."
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carly Houston, 29 of naperville, Illinois Sent in by Jackie Z Jailed woman called 911 A woman who was arrested and thrown in a jail cell was charged again while sitting in her cell after she allegedly made a call to 911 saying she was "trapped." The Naperville Sun newspaper reports Carly Houston was arrested early Sunday morning in Naperville, Illinois, after she allegedly got in a heated argument with a cab driver. Police told the 29-year-old Chicago woman she could call a relative or friend to come post her bail. Instead, the woman allegedly called 911, telling the dispatcher she was "trapped inside the Naperville police detention facility." The newspaper reports Houston was initially charged with theft of labour or services, criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. She was later also charged with making a false 911 report. ... 28111.html
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Cleaning keyboard Dear Webby We had an argument at work about cleaning keyboards with canned air. I distinctly remember that you got quite irate about that idea a few times. Do you still feel that way about it? Frank Dear Frank Yes, and I always will feel that way about it. I highly recommend turning the keyboard upside down, and repeatedly and emphatically beat anybody, who wants to use canned air, over the head with it. That will shake all the cookie crumbs, paperclips, french-fry fragments, etc. out and won't hurt the keyboard at all. Then, if you didn't hit the bonehead hard enough or often enough, use a vacuum cleaner to get any remaining dirt out. After that, spray it lightly with Window cleaner and wipe it with a moist, but not dripping, soft sponge. Dry with an old t-shirt rag or any soft and absorbent rag. Canned air contains difluoroethane, or propane, or similar propellant, and is explosive, when used indoors. Or in vehicles. The guy who used canned air in this truck had to spend four days in hospital afterward. I bet he would have preferred it, if some kind soul had gonged him with a keyboard and 'splained things to him before he did that. In addition to that, dumb kids "huff" that stuff, because it makes them feel dopey, and every year a few of them die from that. Why risk all that, just to blow dirt from place A to place B? If you don't have a bonehead talking in favor of using canned air, or recommending VISTA, stick the keyboard into a garbage bag, and bash it upside down onto a desk or the floor. All the dirt will fly out of it and be neatly contained in the bag. Then vacuum, spray, wipe and dry it, and it is clean. Have FUN! DearWebby
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather for the remaining of the shoot. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "My TV is broken."
Daily tip from Be Grateful for What You Have The recession has taught me the difference between wants and needs, and how grateful I am to have a warm home, loving family and friends. Some things money just can't buy! By Mary from Marshalltown, IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Linda said: The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't think that'd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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