HP.exe problem and Sasser worm 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 25, 2010

Q: What was the most positive result of the “Cash for clunkers” program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. --- Letterman
A young couple had a flat tire outside the fence of a mental institution. The wife was leery of the inmates wandering inside the compound, but there was a swift creek separating them and her husband said it was OK. He took off the four lug nuts and set them into the hubcap to keep them from rolling away. Well, when he rolled the spare tire along the car, he rolled it over the edge of the hubcap and the nuts went flying into the creek. He tried wrapping a coathanger around the lug bolts, but as soon as he lowered the car, the wheel popped off to the great amusement of the spectators behind the fence. After a few more similarly hilarious attempts, finally an inmate behind the fence told the young man to take one nut from each of the other tires and put them on the spare. It would be safe enough to get them to a service station a few miles away. "That's pretty smart for a guy in your place," the husband said. The inmate replied: "I may be crary, but I'm not stupid."
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Nicalaskey and Cesasr Alvarez-Jennings and two women in Anchorage, Alaska Teens steal pizza, face SWAT team Written by Jason Zasky as part of Failure Analysis March 23—The pizza at Sicily’s in Anchorage, Alaska, must be really, really good. So good that it’s worth dying for—or at least spending years in prison. On Sunday night, four youths—two 19-year-old males and two females (ages unknown)—robbed a Sicily’s Pizza delivery driver at gunpoint. The driver resisted and a struggle ensued, but the quartet eventually secured the pizza and ran off. They did not take the driver’s money. The driver followed one of the females—who apparently wasn’t as fleet of foot as her accomplices—to a nearby apartment. When Anchorage police arrived on the scene they took the slow girl into custody, but the males—Joseph Nicalaskey and Cesasr Alvarez-Jennings—and the other female barricaded the door and refused to come out. “They communicated to the officers that they knew they were going to jail and didn’t want to come out because they wanted to eat the pizza,” said Lt. Dave Parker. Police subsequently called in a SWAT team, which broke into the apartment and arrested the trio. The males were charged with first-degree robbery, third-degree assault, and resisting an officer. The females were charged with robbery and assault. Read more: http://failuremag.com/index.php/failure ... z0j9twMA8G
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: HP.ex and Lsass problem Dear Webby I have been receiving this error message at start-up for a few days, Runner Error: Runner file name (Updates from HP.exe) lacks a '-' and I have no idea how to deal with it. In addition, I have received an error message twice this week telling me that my system was going to be shut down and re-started. I was given 60 seconds to close all programs. I only had time to write down part of the message that referenced lsass.exe. Any idea if this could be caused by a virus? I am running BitDefender on Windows XP. I assume these are two separate problems, but I really don't know. Any information or suggstions you might have would, once again, be greatly appreciated! Thank you, Webby! Helen Dear Helen That could be a problem with the HP software. Try HP Support chat: http://www.hp.com/country/us/en/supp...isplay=support Enter your model number, then on the bottom right it should give you the online chat support option. HP support is not nearly as bad on the text chat as they are on the phone. It could also be that your machine is infected with the Sasser (lsass) worm, but HP should be able to tell you whether the HP.exe is acting like the Sasser worm, or if HP is only one or a bunch of problems. The 60 second shutdown warning is actually a typical sign of the Sasser worm. The most common sign is that your machine will indicate that there is a problem and will reboot in 60 seconds. The message caused by Sasser should indicate that the problem is in LSASS.EXE. Another sign of infection is that it will prevent you from going to or downloading McAfee or any anti-virus programs that can kill the worm. It doesn't block the freebie programs that are no threat to it. There are quite a few programs on the net that can get rid of Sasser. Look for one that is not currently blocked by your worm. Good Luck! DearWebby
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate, yes, for sure, my dear, but in the House we don't call each other thieves."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Your Kids School Projects As our children grow, we save a lot of the "odd" things they make at school, church, etc. In scrapbooking, it is impossible to include most of those items. You don't want to toss it, "Timmy made it" for me. So do the next best thing and then you can scrapbook it and "scrap it" too! Take a clear photo of the item, place it in your scrapbook and journal the details, then toss the item. If you think your child might want to see it one last time, ask if they do first. Otherwise, you have the memory but not the box of stuff you have nothing else you can use it for. By Robin from Dover, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Joe, John and Big Bob were moving furniture. While Joe and John were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe. Joe noticed that Big Bob was nowhere in sight. "John, where's Big Bob?" asked Joe. "He should be helping us with this thing." "He is helping," said John, "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!"
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The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat treehuggers and politicians, and they sweat gasoline."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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