Are computers getting dumber? 

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It's Sunday, March 28, 2010

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. --- W. C. Fields All phone calls are obscene. --- Karen Elizabeth Gordon Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. --- Nick Diamos
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
Seen on a T-shirt: "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Echinomastus-acunensis
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Memeth J in Basel, Switzerland Too hot to handle A punter's night in a transexual brothel turned out hotter than he'd bargained for when a fire swept through the place trapping him naked on the balcony. The horrified customer risked burning to death rather than reveal his face once he realised TV crews and cameramen were watching the blaze in Basel, Switzerland. He was only persuaded to leave the balcony when firefighters promised to let him cover his face. "I just hope people can't tell who I am from my bottom," explained the punter, identified only as Memeth J by police to spare his blushes. "I'm gay and was visiting a friend but my family don't know about me so I couldn't show my face."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alexa Re: Computers getting dumber Dear Webby, Is it just me, or is it true that the quality and performance of laptops has gone down? You can't even get any with regular screens any more, just the low height rejects. Are they keeping the ones, that are good enough for regular screens for first class countries? The same goes for the Operating System. Nobody, except a few paid magazine writers, wants that flakey Vista or W7 that Microslop is trying to force down our throats. I have tried them on other people's computers, and both Vista and W7 are pathetic. I am not a conspiracy fanatic, but it sure feels to me as if something is afoot to dumb down the masses to the same pathetic level our education system is in. Is it just me, or is that what is going on? Alexa Dear Alexa I was at the computer store today, getting a cable, when I witnessed an incident, that really opened my eyes. There was this lady, who, judging by her posture, vocabulary, and volume must have been a drill sergeant, or maybe she still is. She was extremely displeased about all the shiny new laptops there having the sawed off low height screens, and called the prim and proper salesman a "Useless Skunk-fu***r" for trying to ram sawed off rejects at Americans, while Asians get the good full size screens. I admit, she had a very valid point there, and she sure got it across at max volume. Shy and demure were probably the only words not in her vocabulary. Then she realized that all machines were pre-loaded with Windows 7, and really got hostile. When it looked like she was going to toss the salesman through the display isle any moment, I tapped her on the shoulder, and motioned "Outside" with my head. I'll say this for her, she was instantly in control, stopped in mid word and followed me outside. There I suggested that she not waste her time with those idiots, just go to Staples online and buy a refurb XP laptop with regular screen for $350, to tide her over until she could order a decent new machine from Asia or Europe. Chances are, though, that a refurb like that will do her just fine for many years. That sure made her day! Alexa, hopefully that information will help you too. Yes, there is indeed something nefarious going on, when people have to buy refurbished old machines, if getting work done is a priority. The new ones are just not good enough. I too use those refurb XP machines from Staples. They have good 4:3 ratio screens, not the sawed off rejects, and they come pre-loaded with XP-Pro. AND, Staples delivers them without charge. They can't keep them stocked in stores, but ship them instantly, if you order them online. By the way, they ship it in a box stuffed with wadded up recyclable brown paper, that you can toss onto the compost pile. No hassle with foam and plastic. Have FUN! DearWebby
In the toilet at a client's office, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "THOAP!"
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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!!!!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Printed sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handwritten sign nearby: Window frightened.

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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