Facebook Virus? 

Zoom the font size for best readability  
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 29, 2010

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. --- George Orwell A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. --- Evan Esar
3 year-old Kelli went with her neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the Host-in, this practise case, a piece of bread- he says: "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on Kelli. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelli took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice: "God will get you."
Two writers of modern poetry who had been bitter rivals for years met on a busy street corner. "You know, since we last met, my audience has increased!" the first said. "Congratulations!" the second one said. "How did you do it? By marriage or by adoption? "

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Krystal Gardner, 28, of Tool, Texas Woman tosses baby into SUV to block repo Mar 25, 4:18 AM (ET) DALLAS (AP) - A woman is accused of throwing her year-old son into her SUV in a failed attempt to stop the vehicle from being repossessed in Dallas. Krystal Gardner of Tool was jailed Wednesday on bail of nearly $3,800 on charges including child endangerment related to abandonment, no driver's license and no insurance. Recovery agent Luke Ross told KTVT-TV that he was in the Ford Expedition when he saw Gardner toss the baby through an open window. He said the baby landed on the seat "like a kid bouncing on a bed." Texas law bans a vehicle from being repossessed if a person is inside. Police were called. Krystal Gardner was arrested, the baby was removed for placement with his father. Ross then repossessed the SUV.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bertha Re: Facebook Virus Dear Webby, a couple of weeks ago, earthlink sent an email saying they would not deliver an email from facebook , I had deactivated the account because it had a virus, today someone sent me a note from there, when I went to log on to facebook, I had a note saying that there was a virus at the facebook account.. what do you suggest, I want to get in there and delete my account but I am afraid to, and I do not have virus protection. your expert advice is appreciated.. Bertha Dear Bertha I don't think you can infect Facebook. They don't use Windows, they use Linux. Most likely your computer is already infected. Those fake Facebook Virus messages are probably from the infection in your computer, not from Facebook. By not using virus protection, you are contributing to the spread of viruses. Have FUN! DearWebby
Wife: "I'm happy to see that the neighbors finally returned our lawn mower before they moved. They certainly had it long enough." Husband: "*Our* lawn mower? I just bought it at the garage sale they're having."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Q-Tips to Apply Goo Gone I absolutely LOVE the product Goo Gone! I use it a lot! I have discovered a very economical way to use this product. First, I buy the large package of cotton swabs at the Dollar Tree for $1.00. There were 300 swabs in the package that I purchased. Second, you can find a small bottle of Goo Gone also at the Dollar Tree. When I need to use Goo Gone, I simply put the tip of the cotton swab at the opening of the Goo Gone. I put just enough Goo Gone to fill the tip and begin using the loaded cotton swab on the stickiness that I need to remove. I use the stem of the swab as my tool to work the sticky off the surface. If I don't need to use the other end, I just pop the swab into two pieces and discard the used side. I save the other end for the next time. By Southeastgeorgiapeach from Jesup, GA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

One day little Johnny was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked. "My budgie bird died and I'm burying him," Johnny replied. "That's an awful big hole for a little bird, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your big, fat, dead cat!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets to the gates there are two lines. One has a sign over it that States "I did everything my wife told me to." The second line has a sign that states, "I made my own decisions." Joe comes up and gets in the first line that wraps around and around and goes on for eternity. As he's standing there he notices the second line only had one man standing in it. He asks the guys in front of him, "Who does he think he is? Yeah right he made his own decisions. " After long thought and not coming up with any reason for why this man was standing in the line by himself he goes up to him asks why he is in that line. The man replies, "I don't really know. My wife told me to stand over here."

Unseen Academicals
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ view entry ] ( 226 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 342 )

<<First <Back | 109 | 110 | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | Next> Last>>