Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 5, 2010

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the
one I've never tried before.
--- Mae West

John: I got this great new hearing aid the
other day.
Mary: Are you wearing it now?
John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars,
but it's the best that money can buy.
Mary: What kind is it?
John: Twelve-thirty.


Morris was at his usual place sitting at the
table, reading the paper after breakfast. He
came across an article about a beautiful
actress that was about to marry a football
player who was known primarily for his lack
of smarts and common sense.
He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of
question on his face.
"I'll never understand why the biggest bozos
get the most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"


Late one night at the insane asylum one
inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, 
"I did NOT !!"


Thanks to Lillemor for sending this piture:


Should I pounce on my sister, or should I have a nap?

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Franchesca Dominique Edwards, 25 from Norfolk, Virginia

Naked in elevator
A Norfolk woman was arrested at the new Hilton Hotel & Spa 
in Short Pump Friday night after being found nude in an 
elevator with a toy gun. According to Henrico Police, 
25-year-old Franchesca Dominique Edwards was found after 
“strange noises” were heard in the elevator around 8:30 p.m.

A hotel staff member asked Edwards to leave. When she 
refused, she pulled a fake gun, reportedly a cap pistol, 
on the employee, who then called police.

Glamor Shot at the Cop Shop
tastefully dressed in a prison shirt.

The woman was arrested by authorities at the hotel, in the 
12000 block of West Broad Street, in the parking lot.

Edwards was charged with indecent exposure and brandishing 
a weapon.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Maryann 
Re: Which mouse lasts the longest?

Dear Webby
I use my computer a lot, and when I don't, my hubby does.
It used to be that a decent mouse lasted as long as a computer,
but that sure doesn't seem to be the case any more.
My half year old Logitech mouse starts freezing the curser,
and only unplugging it for a moment or moving it to another
USB port gets it working again. Then it works for a few 
minutes, and freezes up again.

Even though crawling under the table and unplugging and 
replugging the stupid mouse in the dark is probably good
exercise, I am sick and tired of it. 

It's not the USB port. When I got fed up enough I borrowed
an old mouse, on which the Paste button is worn out, from 
my son. Other than the missing Paste, it works fine and
never freezes the curser. Is there any way to fix my wired
Logitech Laser mouse?

If not, which mouse lasts the longest?
Thanks
Maryann

Dear Maryann
That mouse has timed out, and is not fixable. If you bought
it at Staples and you stil have the receipt, you can trade it
in for another one. For the first six months, that is a great 
mouse, unfortuunately they die young if used a lot.

If you don't have a receipt, or if you bought it at Walmart,
dispose of it.

The mice I get the most hours out of are Microsoft mice.
The Laser 6000 and the Intellimouse Explorer both last a 
couple of years. They don't seem to count the usage hours,
and their weak point is the first few inches of cable,
not the electronics. THAT is easily fixable. Just shorten 
the cable a few inches, and it is good for another year 
or two.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and
didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too.
"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry," she
told him.
"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you
intending to marry?"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use Cereal Bags to Leftover Store Ham
This is the perfect way to save your Easter ham. A big ham 
fits perfectly in a recycled bag from a large box of cereal. 
For ham, I especially like the very large corn flakes bags. 
It's wonderful as you have no mess with going in and out 
of the bag as anything messy stays inside the bag. The 
ham can be "carefully" sliced inside the bag, if you're just 
slicing a small amount and don't want the mess. You can 
save the messy stuff inside the bag for future recipes.

I save all cereal bags when the box of cereal has been 
eaten as they are too good to throw away. In my opinion, 
they are better than anything you can buy to store food 
or other things in. They're even good to cover seeds, 
that you have started indoors. Like Thrifty Fun, cereal bags 
are absolutely wonderful!
By Suzy from Clinton, TN.

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Neither of Sue's kids ever understood her logic.
Somehow they failed to see why THEY had to go to bed
when SHE was tired.


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked







 »  EGGS, not just for frying


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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