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It's Sunday, April 11, 2010

Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. --- Dandemis
As Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument, "It's 'Hawaii', I'm telling you!" Sherry said. "I never KNEW someone so stubborn! 'Havaii' is how it's pronounced!" he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation... As they got off the airplane, they passed a man. Morris abruptly stopped his wife and turned to the man to ask, "Now that we're on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and me. Is this 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii?'" "This is Havaii," the man replied. "Ha!" the husband gloated to his wife. "See, didn't I tell you never to argue with me?" As they began to walk away, Morris turned back and gave the man a hearty "Thank you!" "You're Ferry Velcome!" the Hawaiian called back.
After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket. An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Marika, 25, in Port Richey, Florida Mugger on bicycle has no chance against scooter From 10Connects, Tampa, Florida Port Richey, Florida - Sometimes news happens when you're out covering other news. And that's just what happened Friday. We were out at Wal-Mart Friday doing a interview with Charles Salvatore, who will ride his motorized scooter from Zephyrhills to Alaska to raise awareness of liver diseases for the American Liver Foundation. While we were interviewing Salvatore, a man on a bicycle grabbed a money container from Salvatore's 10-year-old nephew who was helping the family with the fundraiser. The suspect took off from the Wal-Mart and bystanders and family gave chase. So did Charles on his 50cc scooter. They caught up with the suspect, and Salvatore, who looks like he is a head taller and 150 pounds heavier than the mugger, tackled him and held him until police arrived. The suspect was arrested and will most likely be charged with strong armed robbery. As the officer was putting the suspect into the cruiser he apologized to Charles, and cursed at our cameraman.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: MaryLee Re: Is Google Earth Pro worth it? Dear Webby, I used to plan trips by using Google Earth, but found out the hard way, that they dumbed it down, possibly for all the silly nitwits who got conned into wide screen monitors. And you can't use multiple points any more, and can't import lists of way points any more either, unless you buy Google Earth Pro. I searched all over, but have not found any positive comments about Google Earth Pro. I know you do detail planning for your trips. What do you use for that? MaryLee Dear MaryLee Yes, Google did indeed "dumb down" Google Earth, to the point where it is a rather useless kid's toy. The $400 Google Earth Pro is the same, except they allow you multiple way points and let you import them from a spreadsheet, just like the old, GOOD, version let you do for a small annual fee. I certainly won't pay $400 just for that. And I too have not found a single positive mention of it. Google Maps hasn't been dumbed down quite that much, probably just enough, so that Vista and W7 won't crash on it. It works OK for spot checking, but is no longer good enough for extensive route planning. Nowadays I use MapQuest. It has not been dumbed down for the new versions of Windows. Actually, they added some small improvements. They still use the big, fat, mushy lines for the route, but other than that, Mapquest is quite good. Booking hotels right from Mapquest is a breeze, even looking for restaurants or sights. There is plenty of room for improvements, but right now Mapquest beats Google by a good margin. Then there is Microsoft's Bing.com/maps. It has better graphics, and a nice thin and sharp route line. However, when you zoom in, it tends to lose the route line, or sometimes the point flag wanders off a few miles. That "feature" takes some getting used to! And you can't pop up hotels, restaurants, etc. And it still needs customization options, like road name font sizes, the ability to toggle the route line layer below road names, or auto-center and zoom on double-click, and actually quite a long wish list. Yet. It definitely is a work in progress, but looks promising. If they keep at it, in a year or two they will beat both Google and Mapquest. I will keep an eye on it, and check their progress. Have FUN! DearWebby
At Sunday school, the teacher asked Johnny, "Johnny, could you tell me what are we supposed to do to deserve the salvation?" "Yeah, of course" Little Johnny replied. "We're supposed to do a whole bunch of sinning first, so that we got something to be forgiven for!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flower Pot Air Fresheners Make some cute, all-natural flower pot air fresheners! You will need: Supplies: * small terra cotta flower pots (about 4 inch height) * lacy fabric or cheesecloth cut into 8 inch circles * 30 inches of ribbon * baking soda * essential oils Instructions: First, stop any holes in the bottom of the pots with tape. Fill them with baking soda and mix in about 10 drops or so of your favorite essential oil. Place the circle of fabric over the pot and secure by tying the ribbon around the rim with a bow. To freshen just stir in a few more drops of oil, and change the baking soda every few months. I love these little pots, they leave a nice, subtle scent without chemicals or synthetic perfumes. They're lovely in smaller rooms like the kitchen or bathroom, and inexpensive to make. I even used some old lace curtains for the fabric. The only trick is to place them where kids, pets (or you!) won't knock them over too easily. By Tapestry Lady from England http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The teacher said, "Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" All the kids looked baffled by the question except Rufus, who raised his hand and waved it excitedly. "Yes, Rufus, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asked. Replied Rufus, "Twelve, m'am. January second, February second, March second..."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Linda had gotten a new job as a reporter at her local newspaper and she was brought in to meet the crusty old editor on her first day on the job. "Names, names," the old editor insisted to the new reporter. "No story is complete without the names of everyone involved." Linda assured him she would make him proud of her reporting abilities, and her first assignment was to write an article on a local disaster. She came back a few hours later and filed this report: Three farms in our area were affected by severe lightning storms that struck Thursday night. Mr. and Mrs. Horace Greene reported a fire in their barn. Michael Arlington said several trees were knocked down by the violence of the storm. And Fred Morse reported that three of his cows were struck by lightning. Their names were Bessie, Elsie and Bertha.

Creepy Crawly Things
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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