Phonetic Alphabet: Alpha, Bravo,... 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 19, 2010

Sometimes when you cry, no one sees the tears.... Sometimes when you are happy, no one bothers to see the smile.... BUT FART ONCE AND EVERYONE NOTICES! --- Socratex
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression..... In America we call it golf.
Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy. "My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?" "Sure do! Fifteen-hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"
Thanks to Janina for this great picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew J. Garcia, 30 in San Ysidro, NM Burning off residue on his bong led to arson charge Las Cruces, NM (The Weekly Vice) - Andrew J. Garcia, a 30-year-old San Ysidro man, was jailed after he allegedly used a bong to set his mobile home on fire. According to Dona Ana County police, authorities were contacted after an off-duty sheriff witnessed Garcia driving away from his burning home. A police chase through the community ensued, which the officer abandoned for safety reasons. Garcia was apprehended later at his residence. Investigators say Garcia was cleaning his bong with alcohol when he ignited the alcohol on purpose, setting fire to his curtains and causing an estimated $20,000 damage. His wife and children were not home at the time of the incident and no injuries were reported. Garcia admitted to authorities that he was suffering from a drug addiction and he was distraught. Garcia underwent a psychiatric evaluation at a local hospital and was then booked into Dona Ana County Detention center on charges of arson and fleeing a law-enforcement officer. He is being held on $30,000 bond. ------- Most likely the speedy escape was to bring his stash, worth more than the old trailer, to a safe place.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brenda re: Voice alphabet Dear Webby When I have to spell my name on the phone I often grasp for suitable words to clarify each letter. I am not quite as bad as that Caseway joke you had a few years ago, please bring it again! However, sometimes people make me feel like I am just as bad at clarifying the letters in my long last name. Isn't there a standard list of words for doing that? Thanks Brenda Dear Brenda Indeed there is: The International Morse Alphabet menonic. This not the original code developed for Morse, but the German Gerke version, which became the International Morse code about 150 years ago. Certain vowels represent dots, others represent dashes. That helped people memorize the morse code. Even though the Morse Code has become obsolete, the Morse Alphabet is still in popular use for clarifying the spelling in voice communication. I used to print it on the back of business cards. Here is the picture for that. At 96 dots per inch it will be exactly the size of a business card. Business Card Size Have FUN! DearWebby
Here is the Caseway joke. You have to read it out loud. "Information? I need the number for Caseway Transport." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
Daily tip from Make a Fence Look Nice on Both Sides When you put up a wooden fence, you usually nail the pickets to one side, then the other side of the fence doesn't look all that great. But if you keep alternating the pickets, nailing the first to your neighbor's side and the next to your side, you will end up with a fence that looks something like basket weave and will look good on both sides. By Amuck Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum. "I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking." "No problem," the patient said patiently. "I'm sure by tomorrow some doctor will sober up. I'm still a bit tired from that operation anyway."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun had made a note, "Take only one, God is watching," Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One of the boys had written a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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