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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The first page of the Cactus Rally is up:
First Day

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them. --- Pierre Beaumarchais A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?" Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
The Father, passing thru the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch and we'll hose him down in the morning."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a Jane Simmons, 45, in Poughkeepsie, NY Woman reporting for jail sentence has heroin, Hydrocodone pills on her KINGSTON – The Ulster County Sheriff’s Office has charged a Poughkeepsie woman with felony promoting prison contraband in the first degree for possession drugs at the jail. Deputies said on Friday, May 7, Jane Simmons, 45, of Glenwood Avenue in Poughkeepsie reported to the Ulster Sheriff’s Office Corrections Division to report for her intermittent sentence for a previous charge of petit larceny. As she was being processed into the jail, corrections staff found her to be in possession of 18 decks of heroin and 10 Hydrocodone pills. When she was told to turn over the drugs, she tried to destroy them by throwing them into a toilet and flushing them. Corrections staff was able to recover the items. Simmons was charged with promoting prison contraband in the first degree, a felony, promoting contraband in the second degree, a misdemeanor, two counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance in the seventh degree, misdemeanors, and the felony of tampering with physical evidence. She was arraigned and remanded to the Ulster County Jail on $25,000 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland re: Google Earth Settings Dear Webby Hey: Good to hear you had a good trip, followed you for quite a ways as have been in that part of the world as well. have a question, how do you get the roads to come in on GLOBAL EARTH? I have tried and can not get any roads to come in. Even when looking for an address that is listed as a road, like 3654 Weld Road 6. Hope you can give me a lesson on this in good ole plain English. Keep up the good work, Roland Dear Roland In Google Earth turn the side bar on CTRL ALT B Down in the bottom half of the bar put checkmarks on all the stuff that you want to be visible. Add the checkmarks one at a time, so that you see what it does. Some of them are a bit of a nuisance, and you'll want to un-check them quickly. On mine, I just have checkmarks on Primary Database Borders and Labels Roads 3D Buildings Ocean Terrain The rest I don't need or want. Have FUN! DearWebby
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run." With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be the driver for my jeep."
Daily tip from Keep Bugs Out Of Your Drink Outside Here's another great use for Press and Seal. When you take a drink outside, you risk getting bugs in it. So put a small piece of Press and Seal over your glass leaving a drink hole or poke a tiny hole in it and stick a straw through it. You will drink bug free. For a recyclable way to do the same thing, you can also use those little bowl covers that look like mini shower caps and poke a hole in those for a straw, then they can be washed over and over! I have used both and it works great. By Melmarr from MI I have used an insulated stainless steel travel mug with a sliding cover for the drinking hole for many years for that purpose. You can get plastic travel mugs at flea markets for under a dollar and they last for many years too. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A man and his wife are walking down the street when he suddenly said, "That lovely girl just looked at me and smiled." "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest," his wife replied. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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An 18th century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, comes on a roadside inn emblazoned with a sign carrying the name "St. George and the Dragon." He knocks on the door, and the innkeeper's wife sticks her head out of a window above the sign. "Could ye spare some victuals?" the man asks. The woman glances at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No,"she shouts. "Could I have a pint of ale then?" he asks. "No, I said." "Could I at least use your privy?" "No," she shouts again. "Well, might I please....?" "What now?" the woman screeches, not allowing him to finish. "D'ye suppose that I might have a word with George?"

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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