Open Office Clipboard 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 14, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The third and fourth pages of the Cactus Rally are up:
Third Day
Fourth Day

No man ever listened himself out of a job. --- Calvin Coolidge First things first, but not necessarily in that order. --- Doctor Who
"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!"
A college freshman comes home after being away all semester. Her father looks her up and down, then says, "Aren't you a lot fatter than when you went away?" "Yes I am, Dad," the girl admits. "I weigh 140 pounds stripped for gym." The father stares at her for a moment in horrified amazement. Finally, he shouts, "Well, tell me this: Just who is Jim?"
Last Friday in Utah
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a ouple of boneheads on the Isle of Wight, England Man dressed as Snoopy tries to break into jail A gun-toting man tried to break into a jail to free another inmate - while wearing a Snoopy costume. The man was arrested by police after attempting to break into the Albany site of HMP Isle of Wight, while carrying what appeared to be a firearm and dressed up as the canine hero of the Peanuts cartoons, according to a report in the Sun. He was accompanied by a sidekick, who wasn't dressed as any kind of cartoon character. Unfortunately for the would-be jailbreakers, it later emerged that they had in fact tried to break into the wrong jail - the family member they had planned to free was actually being held at another site in the Isle of Wight prison complex. The 'gun' was also revealed to actually be a water pistol. The duo had attempted to break down a staff door at the prison site, but couldn't get it to budge. When that plan failed, they resorted to throwing concrete missiles at prison officers' cars. The two were quickly arrested on suspicion of criminal damage, and detained under the Mental Health Act.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cybergranny99 re: Open Office Clipboard Dear Webby Hello and thanks for all the cool things you send our way. I enjoyed reading about your trip and now seeing some of the photos too. I have recently switched from Office 2007 to OpenOffice and I like it. I believe that I can copy and paste from this to my eBay listings and not get all those "funny" looking additions that MS word does. My question is whether Open Office has a clipboard like MS Word. I find several mentions of clipboard in help but cannot find a program and I really use this a lot. Do you know if this available with OpenOffice? Thanks again for all the great stuff. I depend on your jokes to tell at my weekly visit to a local Assisted living and they love them!! Dear Cyergrannie Open Office uses the same concept as Word Perfect and Word Star users are accustomed to since the days when you were jail-bait. You simply open two (or more) docs, copy and paste from one to the other. It makes no difference whether you have a permanent "Cheat-Sheet" with commonly used stuff like , , , etc, or copy from a live web page like the currency conversions of the hour. Just jump from the doc to the "Cheat Sheet" or source page, highlight what you want to copy, hit CTRL C to Copy, ALT TAB back to the receiving doc, place the cursor where you want the copied stuff, hit CTRL V, and it is done. You can just as easily copy stuff from a web page and paste it into both the Cheat Sheet AND the receiving doc, and you can of course have as many different thematic Cheat Sheets as you want, for example one for Recipes, one for Prayers, one for cruise lines that charge 50% less per day than Fogie Farms do, etc. Start with one Cheat Sheet, and when it gets too long, add a second thematic one and shuffle the stuff with THAT theme over there. You are not limited to text. Right-Click on a picture on a web page, select COPY, jum to your Open Office Doc and hit CTRL V to paste it where the cursor is. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man is celebrating his 100th birthday, so the editor of the local newspaper sends a reporter over to do a feature story on the old timer. The reporter begins by asking the old tried and true question, "To what do you attribute your longevity?" "Well, young lady," the gentleman says, "I never smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day, never got drunk and didn't over-eat. I didn't get up too early every morning, but I sure stay up and active past midnight ." "But, I had an uncle who did exactly the same," the reporter says, "and he only lived to be 80. How do you account for that?" "He didn't keep it up long enough," says the centenarian.
Daily tip from Ask a Master Gardener Ever wonder what you should plant? For free answers from experts about what grows best in your area, and for questions about insects and garden pests, ask a Master Gardner. They offer their advice free at most Farmers' Markets and also online. Master Gardeners are trained for free at most universities and in return they are required to offer their advice to the local community. Besides local farmers markets you can also get in touch with them by searching the words "Master Gardeners" then adding your state. For example "Master Gardeners Minnesota" or "Master Gardeners University of Washington". You can then connect to a Master Gardner Forum in your area. If you are interested in becoming a Master Gardner contact the university closest to you. Master Gardeners are some of the most helpful and friendliest people around. They have a booth at the Saturday Market that I sell at. By Cyinda from near Seattle Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my little ducks!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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In the faculty lounge of an excellent elementary school, some teachers were talking about reincarnation. One teacher remarked "If there's anything to the idea of reincarnation, I know what I'd like to come back as." "Oh, tell us what," said a couple of colleagues. "I'd like to come back," said the teacher, "as a childhood disease."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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