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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 21, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

College is that bright interlude of freedom a young man has, between subjection to his mother and control by his wife. --- Socratex Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. --- Mark Twain Sure does not seem to apply for women ! Lady Godiva got the taxes eliminated in her county, and some of the best chocolates on this planet are named after her.
Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was *like brand-new* and had only been driven by a little old lady on Sundays. He tried that approach on every prospective buyer but none seemed to believe him and no sales were made that day. His boss was furious and threatened to fire Bill if he didn't sell any cars the following day. The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure enough he sold three cars. The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked what he had done to bring about all these sales. Bill grinned, "Well they didn't believe my little old lady story, so I told them that the car had previously been owned by your daughter, and that she only used the backseat."
The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious young man knocked on a door and a sour- faced lady came to the door and yelled: "What do you want, kid?" "D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he stammered. "Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" sneered the lady. "S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"
Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jessica Halter, 18, North Ridgeville, Ohio Drive-Thru Taser Incident At Wendy's Jessica Halter. The Ohio student, 18, was arrested Saturday night at her high school prom after she drunkenly assaulted a policeman, tried to kick a paramedic, and spewed a "bloody ball of spit" at one cop. According to a Lorain Police Department report, an officer working the North Ridgeville High School prom was approached by school administrators who had received several complaints about the "highly intoxicated" Halter. When told of these complaints, Halter replied, "This is my fucking prom, this is bullshit." Halter, her speech slurred, denied drinking alcohol and cursed out the school's principal and assistant principal. "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom, I'm not drunk," said Halter. After refusing to take a Breathalyzer test, Halter attempted to swing a chair at cops, and then began "smacking her face into the chair handle causing her nose to bleed." While being handcuffed, Halter "began kicking, screaming, spitting and thrashing about." As she was walked out of DeLuca's catering hall, Halter--screaming obscenities--"let her legs go limp," so officers had to carry the teen to a patrol car. That is when Halter "cleared her throat and spit a bloody ball of spit" at Officer Kyle Gelenius, whose name tag was ripped from his uniform by Halter during the confrontation. Seated in the back of the cruiser, Halter "continued to spit blood on the windows, the divider, and the roof," and kicked the vehicle's window. For her prom night meltdown, Halter was booked into the Lorain County jail and charged with assaulting a cop, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and underage drinking. The drinking won't go onto her adult record, but assaulting a cop will, and will never come off her record, so that other officers are warned, what kind of bitch she can be.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Phyllis Re: Resizing Dear Webby I am taking a course in photography and showed your trip pictures to the instructor. Usually she tears apart and criticises any picture (except her own, of course), but with yours she got very quiet. Finally, after looking at over a hundred, she muttered about "consistently good composition, good contrast and color, precise sizing, must be a former student of mine". And she wrote down the URL to study them some more later. I am way ahead of the class just because of your advice a few years ago to crop each picture at least a little bit, mainly to review it critically and identify what on it is best. As you predicted, that reviewing carried over into composing each shot before I even raise my camera. I still have problems with the resizing. Partly due to the camera, and partly due to the cropping, my pictures are all in different sizes. Sure, I can resize them manually, one at a time, but is there a program that will resize a whole folder at a time? Thanks Phyllis Dear Phyllis When I crop a picture, I make sure that the width to height ratio is 1.3333. The graphics program shows the ratio in the task bar. Then I use the FastStone Resizer to resize them and save them to a different folder, still as JPG. After that I use the FastStone to resize them down to thumbnail size and save them as GIF in that same destination folder. You can do a whole folder, or highlight just the ones you want resized, and do it without changing the original. And you can add your copyright text or a watermark to the whole batch at the same time. FastStone works flawlessly and extremely fast. The only caution I would recommend is to change the default output quality to 100%. By default it is set to about 90%, probably to speed up page loading time. It is easy enough to change that setting, just remember to do it. You can get FastStone free from the link in my Tool Box. Have FUN! DearWebby
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." The judge then said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?" The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later."
Daily tip from No new tip today at Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "Ah," he sighed, "that must be her checking out now."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Tallahassee." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again." ------------ Reminds me of my student days. It was common knowledge there, that nobody EVER got arrested while on Gymnasium Street.

Virtual Parks
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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