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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 22, 2010

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. --- Blore's Razor "Work can wait while you show a child the rainbow. The rainbow won't wait while you do the work." --- Kathy Mckimens
I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, "I do."
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied, "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jim Brennan, 43 in Mt Juliet, Tennessee Plumber Hides Camera To Capture Client In Shower LA VERGNE, Tenn. - A man hired to fix a leaky shower was arrested for illegally videotaping his client in the nude. Jim Brennan was charged with Photographing Without Consent, a Class A Misdemeanor. "That's not just something that just happens. It takes plans," said La Vergne Police Chief Ted Boyd. Investigators said the 43-year-old Mt. Juliet man was called to the victim's house on Tuesday morning. While there, Brennan told the female victim she had to take a shower so he could find the leak. Before the victim entered the bathroom, Brennan set up a hidden video camera in the bathroom. "Just all sorts of red flags there that says to me that this probably is not the first time," said Boyd. Brennan also captured himself on video spending about 15 minutes setting the camera up to capture the victim near the shower. Police said after the victim took a shower she saw a blinking red light coming from the handyman's tool bag. "Curiosity takes over. She removes something that's over the bag to see what it is and low and behold it's a video camera," said Boyd. The woman called her husband and LaVergne police. Officers arrived to arrest Brennan before he could leave. Boyd said the suspect's actions suggest this is not the first time he has videotaped an unsuspecting client. Police are asking anyone who thinks they have been victimized by Brennan to call the authorities.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Trader RE: Back Issues Dear Webby A couple of days ago, you post how to fix the screen so I wouldn’t have to expand everytime I clicked on a new page. I delete it by mistake. Wanted my son to fix mine fer me. Thanks. Trader Dear Trader I post every day's issue to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog as an archive. That day is there at IE tiny Window Problem Have FUN! DearWebby
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Steam Iron to Remove Stickers How many of you moms out there have spent entirely too much time trying to remove stickers that have been stuck on every surface in the entire house by your ornery toddler? Hold onto your bonnets, ladies! You ready? Use the steam from your iron to remove any type of sticky sticker off any surface! Fill your iron chuck full of water and turn the heat and steam on High. Let it get good and hot, then hold your iron upright or over your sticker nightmare and start pressing that steam button as fast as you can. In seconds, the entire sticker can be lifted off with absolutely NO residue left on the surface. May all of you sticker-removing mommies sleep better tonight knowing that at least one toddler mess can be cleaned up with ease. By April from Albany, GA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ A hot air gun or a hair dryer work fine too. Have some chisel-nose tweezers ready to peel the sticker off. You can practise with the labels on jam jars to find out how long you have to blow hot air with your tool of choice. Unlike steam, the hot air will not cause burns if you get impatient and reach in too early. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Marvin's trailer house, Marvin asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Marvin. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are you studying?" asked Marvin. The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

» Miscelaneous, etc
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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