Ezinefinder problems 

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It's Saturday, May 29, 2010

Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. --- Foster's Law We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. --- John W. Gardner
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He looked at her soberly for a time. "I know this must hurt," she said, trying to soften the blow. "Oh, it's not that," he said. "It's just that I wasn't planning on spending quite that much."
The woman yelled at her husband, "You're gonna be really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!" He responded, "Make up your mind! Which one is it gonna be?"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dean Rockmore, 49 in Deland, Florida Life for stealing socks Daytona Beach, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Dean Rockmore, a 49-year-old Florida man, was sentenced to life in prison Friday after stealing $4 worth of socks from an area Wal-Mart proved that he is incorrigible. According to the Deland Police Department, Rockmore was observed by a loss-prevention security officer trying to steal a T-shirt and socks by stuffing them into his pants, back in March. Investigators say when Rockmore ran from the store, the officer followed. The employee backed off when Rockmore revealed a gun while telling the employee "Let it be, you don't want none." Rockmore ditched the T-shirt but got away with the socks. Rockmore had been out of prison for two months when he stole the socks valued at $4. He was found guilty of robbery with a firearm during his trial in April. The Circuit Judge found Rockmore qualified as a prison-release re-offender. Rockmore has a record in Volusia County dating to 1980 which includes Arson, Aggravated Assault on a Firefighter/Paramedic, trafficking stolen merchandise and forgery. He was released from Florida Department of Corrections in January 2009 after spending four years in jail for battery on a law-enforcement officer.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne RE: Ezinefinder not working Dear Webby, Maybe your drop in votes is due to the problems at the Ezinefinder. It has been getting more and more erratic, and for the last few days in a row, I have not received the vote confirmation request. Judging by the stats at their site, their problem is definitely not too many votes or traffic. You are sending them more visitors than the rest of the newsletters together! So, what IS the problem? Dianne Dear Dianne The Ezinefinder is totally independent and not on one of our servers. Judging by the number of people who complain about voting problems and by the graph of the votes, they do seem to have problems, but there is nothing I can do about them. You can write to Lewis at support@cumuli.com and tell him. Have FUN! DearWebby
Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening. I'll never take her out again!" Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,''Stop,' and 'Don't!'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Holiday Clearances All Year Round Here is a tip that you can use following any holiday, stock up! If you use paper plates and napkins, now is the time to stock up on those outdated, never to be used again graduation plates, napkins and paper cups. I purchase these for as little as 25 cents a package and use them for a BBQ at the lake or tailgating in the fall. Since we are going to throw them away any how, who cares if they are outdated. Stock up for next year's school party after Valentines or Easter. Put a festive napkin in your lunchbox to brighten your day around the holidays. Even paper table cloths make great wrapping paper for large, hard to wrap gift items (ie. bicycle). Happy Saving! By skibum1910 from Prospect, KY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three- year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A college student, noticeably pregnant, keeps rubbing her side during a final exam. Before she leaves, the professor asks if she is OK. "I noticed you were holding onto your side," he says. "Oh, I'm fine," she answers. "It's just that my baby was pushing his foot up and down my ribs, and it hurt a little." "Well, that's good," the professor says, feeling genuinely relieved. "Yes," she continues. "It's strange. We both normally sleep during your class."

Wobbly Elephants
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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