Email Petitions 

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It's Friday, June 4, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." --- Galileo Galilei "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit." --- Helen Keller
Harold and David are out in the woods hunting, when David falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. Harold whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend looks like he's dead! What can I do?" The police operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help... First, lets make sure he really is dead." ...There is a silence, then a shot is heard... Harold then says, "OK, now what?"
"Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don't you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don't pass that truck - his tire is wobbling." The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache, was irritated by the incessant squealing of the CB. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked. "Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I'm married."
Enough of you asked for it, so here is a picture of me, from two weeks ago.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Todd Mayer, 45, of Anchorage, Alaska Alaska police stop bank robbery suspect on bike ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - A man robbed an Anchorage bank and escaped on a bicycle but didn't get far, police said Thursday. The suspect crashed his bike into a patrol car, slid across the hood and took off running but was detained half a block away five minutes after the robbery, Anchorage Police Lt. Dave Parker said. Police identified the suspect as Christopher Todd Mayer, 45, of Anchorage. He was turned over to the FBI, which will conduct the investigation. Mayer had not been formally charged as of Thursday afternoon, and it was unknown if he had an attorney. Police took a call at 1:15 p.m. from a customer who saw a man wearing a camouflage bandanna confront a teller at a downtown Wells Fargo bank branch. The witness reported hearing the man say, "This is a robbery. Give me the money fast." The teller stuffed money into the man's backpack. "There was a weapon implied," Parker said. "No weapon was seen." A second witness told a police dispatcher the man's getaway vehicle was a bicycle. Officer Aaron Roberts, responding to a holdup alarm, spotted a bicyclist several blocks away passing through an intersection. The cyclist wore a camouflage bandanna around his neck. He refused to stop, police said, so Roberts chased him until he could maneuver his car into the bike's path. The suspect didn't slow down and struck the patrol car, Parker said. The bicyclist slid over the hood but lost his backpack. "He ended in a heap with the money pouring out of his pack," Parker said. The man did not seem fazed, Parker said. "It didn't hurt him at all," he said. "He popped up and ran away." Roberts, who stays in shape with martial arts, ran him down after about a half block, Parker said. Witnesses from the bank identified Mayer as the suspect, Parker said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nita RE: Email petition Dear Webby, I received numerous e-mails today asking me to sign a petition & sent it to: E-mail claims that the Senate voted to allow illegal aliens to draw Social Security. Is this a hoax? Nita Dear Nita There is no point writing to Nobody there is interested in what the sheep want, and it's a Senate matter anyway, not a White House matter. In addition to that, you know the White House attitude about Arizona making it a crime to be an illegal immigrant! You would be much better off sending email to a sympathetic senator, who has staff competent enough to count the emails. That senator can then use that number in speeches. Other than that, email petitions have absolutely no weight any more. Have FUN! DearWebby
I noticed the neighbor down the street was sitting on his porch all day every every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened. Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him.
Daily tip from Garden: Fresh Salad Bowl What could be better than a Fresh Salad Bowl? I use a low ceramic bowl, plant a variety of lettuces and herbs each spring. Throughout the summer I go out to my Salad Bowl and pick fresh greens for dinner. It makes a great centerpiece for the outdoor patio table as well. By Susan D. from Portland OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

For the second time in a row, Jill was forced to impose on the woman with whom she carpooled to her children's soccer practices. Jill phoned and explained that her husband had the car again, so she wouldn't be able to take her turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up her son, her husband showed up. Since it was too late for her to call and say she could drive after all, Jill asked her husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. She also explained to her son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, her husband forgot and was in front of the house chatting with a friend when her carpool partner arrived. When her son returned from practice, Jill asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't really know for sure."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist. "So who did you see before coming to me?" asked the doctor. "My local General Practitioner." "Your GP?" scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of time. Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?" "He told me to come and see you."

Motion Blur
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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