Zoom on touch-screen laptops 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, June 5, 2010

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. --- Jerome K. Jerome
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution, "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. Then I suggested that she try carrying several things at once." The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now, I do it in seven."
A friend and I were driving to the mall when we came to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed to one lane, with a red light at either end. We stopped at the red light on our side and when it turned green we started up again. Halfway through we met another car coming towards us. The driver leaned out his window and shouted, "I don't back up for idiots!" Putting his car into reverse, my friend called back, "No problem. I know how to do that."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a car thief in Pernham, MN Man stole car with no brakes A would-be Perham car thief ended up with a headache, no car, and an embarrassment in what turned out to be a very short time on the lam Saturday. At 5:10 a.m. on May 29, the Perham Police Department was called about a car accident on 2nd St. NW. Upon arriving, police officers developed a clearer idea of what had happened. A local man had seen an Audi 5000 Quattro in a residential driveway on 2nd St. The keys were in the vehicle, but, unbeknownst to the thief, the brakes were not, as the car's master cylinder had been removed by the owner in order to repair the brakes. The thief drove a short distance before he attempted to brake, at which point the car slammed into a tree, causing the thief's head to strike the car's windshield. He was transported to the hospital upon the arrival of the police. The incident is still under investigation, and the police department expects formal charges to be filed soon.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol RE: Zoom on touch-screen laptop Dear Webby, I love being able to use control-zoom fonts with my mouse. Will the program function on a touch screen laptop? Not wanting to squint.... Carol Dear Carol yes, normally it does, since you will quickly get a mouse anyway. The novelty of a touch screen usually wears off very soon. It is only slightly less klutzy than the nuisance thumb pad. A good 7 button mouse is probably impossible to beat. Have FUN! DearWebby
A young executive is leaving the office one evening when he comes across the company president standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand. "Listen," says the president, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," says the young executive. He turns the machine on, inserts the paper and presses the start button. "Excellent, excellent," says the president as his paper disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Designer Names at Thrift Shops About 12 years ago, I had to find a way to buy my husbands shirts. He was forever burning holes in them smoking. I decided to try a thrift store. I was embarrassed to go in but I did. Well, I was so surprised at the people shopping there; well off and well heeled. I decided to look around after I got his shirts. I was shocked! I found an L.L. Bean denim skirt for $4.00 with the tag still on and never been worn. I was, from that point on, a thrift store shopper. I have turned all my friends on to them. I have purchased designer clothes at a fraction of the cost. Most still have tags. Even if they don't, you can tell they have never or only been worn once. You have to haunt the stores but it is well worth it. On a recent trip I bought approx. $300.00 worth of clothes for $20.00. Happy Shopping! By Mary Ann from Weslaco, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man goes to the doctor and complains, "Doctor, I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician scratches his head. "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an ophthalmologist?" "No," says the man. "Just spots."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one. "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the most powerful prayin' I ever did, was while hangin' upside down from a power pole."

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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