Scheduling hard drive defragging 

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It's Sunday, August 1, 2010

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. --- P. J. O'Rourke "Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." --- William James
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the Big pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the little pink pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
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Recently, in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..."
Become A Fat Burning Furnace
Click Here!
Don't worry, the link opens in a separate page.
This method is quite legit, and it works, even on me!
It is a method, not a diet or pills.

Thanks to Martin for sending this picture: Large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Steven Melendez, 24, in Mansfield Ohio PUI Pushing a stroller while intoxicated MANSFIELD, Ohio -- A Mansfield man is facing unusual charges for pushing his children in a stroller while he was intoxicated. 24-year-old Steven Melendez says his sons,who are one and three years-old, mean the world to him. However, Melendez concedes he had been drinking when he put the boys in a stroller and went to pick up a money order near their home on Monday. Melendez tells Fox 8 "stupidly after having a couple of drinks you know I shouldn't be going out but I was trying to make sure I had the money and stuff and got it so I had everything that day. I went out and about and was headed there to get the money and the cops stopped me." After receiving a 911 call from a concerned resident, Mansfield Police arrested Melendez on charges of child endangering and public intoxication. Police say he passed out when they took him to the Richland County Jail to be booked, and he had to be taken to a nearby hospital for treatment. Melendez says "point blank I was wrong, I shouldn't have went out and had anything to drink, I mean I wasn't stumbling stupid drunk or nothing but you know it happened, it's over. I've just got to go and do what I have to do to deal with it." Melendez says he is now taking steps to treat his drinking problem.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Defragmenting the hard drive Dear Webby, Thank you for the wonderful humor today. What a great way to start the day. I just installed Diskeeper trial version today. I looked at their help sedction bur got more confused. Hpw do I know if it is automatically defragementing at all times? I think I saw "automatic defrag" checked but am not sure if it is running. Also should i do a manual defrag every so often as I was used to doing theur "my computer"? Thanks again for your fun & tips. Have a purrfect day, Sharon Dear Sharon When you got it set to automatically defragment whenever the screen saver comes on, then of course you will never SEE it in action. You will simply notice that the computer is getting faster every day. It is a good idea to do one manually set defrag first. Just set it to start at a time when you are not using the computer, because all that shuffling around will temporarily slow it down a bit. While it is doing that, you will see an activity icon in the task bar. After that, set it to automatically defrag whenever the screen saver comes on. Have FUN! DearWebby
During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big boob." The bishop rose to close the session and remarked, "That's okay. We all like big boobs."
Daily tip from "No Boredom Bag" For Car Trips For car trips with kids, I make a "no boredom bag". It can be a backpack, or any bag, but ones with pockets are good. It depends on what age as to what you put in it, but I usually put the following for my 9 year old: 4-5 coloring/activity books, a book to read, a small pack of crayons, a small pack of markers, a small MagnaDoodle, various snacks, a spill-proof cup, wet wipes, some car games, and an mp3 player. Most of it can be bought at the dollar store, and can be mixed and matched according to the child's preferences and ages, and it solves the "Are we there yet?" and "I'm so bored!" comments. By blueflye from ID Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

That joke above reminds me of Nancy, who is rather top-heavy. Nancy was speeding and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. Her downward vision of course was blocked, and she was in a hurry fumbling the belt. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always wear it looped through your steering wheel?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

Railway Pictures

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