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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, August 3, 2010

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. --- Vince Lombardi A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. --- Don Quinn
One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, probably less than half of them."
Apparently nobody is interested in the Secret 11 Laws either. Well, if nobody is interested, I am not donating space for it. I'll try to find a different treat for tomorrow.
The psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the speaker, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?" Bubba replied, "I believe that would be giddy-up."
Become A Fat Burning Furnace
Click Here!
Don't worry, the link opens in a separate page.
This method is quite legit, and it works, even on me!
It is a method, not a diet or pills.

Ad on the back of a bus in Amsterdam
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Robert Grimstad, 38, in Des Moines, Iowa Drunk driving on lawn mower, at night An Iowa man ended up in jail after he was pulled over for driving on a motorway at night with no lights - on a lawn mower. Robert Grimstad, 38, was allegedly driving all over Highway 17, near Des Moines, when he was stopped by sheriff's deputies. He told police officers that he was out on his six-speed lawn mower picking up cans out of community spirit. But officers smelt alcohol on his breath, gave him a blood test and charged him with drunk driving, reports the Des Moines Register. Boone County Sheriff Ron Fehr says it's illegal in Iowa to drive any kind of motor vehicle anywhere in Iowa while drunk.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cookie Re: Strike-out Dear Webby, This morning I was writing a friend and put in 'Happy Monday' and I wondered if there was a way to put slash marks or x's through those words as a spoof. You know you could still see what was written but it would be x'd or slashed through. Thanks againg and have a wonderful day. Cookie Dear Cookie Do you mean strikeout ? Along with Bold, Italic, and Underlined, Strikeout is one of the four basic "decorations", and all decent word processors and email programs have it included. In HTML you use the STRIKE tag. Have FUN! DearWebby
"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he said. "A short prayer and then we just tell them straight out that they're going to die."
Daily tip from Shop Once a Week Shopping only once a week and going to the store on your busiest day is the key to spending less on groceries. Over the past few months I have stuck to a simple rule: Grocery shopping once a week. By Bella Swan from Forks, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A teacher was upset that one little boy was swearing in class. "Todd," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear those words?" "My daddy says that," Todd replied. "Well, that doesn't matter," the teacher explained. "I don't want to hear that language in here again." Turning away, the teacher muttered "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too!" the little boy replied. "It means the car won't start!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
Doctor: "Have you ever been troubled by appendicitis?" Patient: "Only when I've tried to spell it."

P.O. cats

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