More email problems 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, August 5, 2010

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. -- Jim Horning I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. -- Samuel Goldwyn These days come and go, but they say nothing, and if we do not use the gifts they bring, they carry them as silently away. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint. "I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one. "CTC? Who are they?" "You know," he responded, "Call Them Collect."
One day, a foreign family arrived in New York City. This was the first time out of their native village, and it didn't take long before the wife got lost. The husband asked a passerby for help and was told to go to the police and report it. When he got there, a police officer asked him for the wife's description. "What's that?" asked the man. "Well, you see a description is telling what something looks like. For example, my wife is 25-years-old, 5'11", 140 lbs, 38-25-36 measurements. Now, what can you tell me about your wife?" "Maria can wait, lets go look for yours!"
Looks like all three subcribers, who want to loose significant weight
before the reunion, have grabbed the Fat Burning Furnace book.
I might bring that link back some day, but for now it is gone.

I found another great deal for you: 50% off on the famous
14,000 home wood working plans
Click Here!
If they don't let you work with wood anymore, it would be
a great present for your favorite handyman, at a rare 50% off!
Off the cost of the book, not the handyman!

Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Michael Dupree in St Petersburg, Florida Convicted Burglar Sues Captors Over Citizen's Arrest A convicted burglar says the man he victimized actually committed battery while performing an unnecessarily rough citizen's arrest. Michael Dupree is serving a 12-year sentence for cocaine possession and burglary after being found guilty of shattering Anthony McKoy's car window and stealing a bicycle from inside his vehicle in St. Petersburg, Fla., in 2007. Michael Dupree putting on the pounds in prison But Dupree is seeking $500,000 and punitive damages for injuries he says he sustained when McKoy and two other men detained him until police arrived, according to the St. Petersburg Times. Dupree swears another man gave him the bike, which he was trying to sell when McKoy and his accomplices confronted him, pulled out a gun, handcuffed him and pinned him to the ground by painfully placing a knee on his spine. According to court documents, the citizen's arrest lead to "permanent disabilities and psychological disorders which the plaintiff continues to suffer." Unsurprisingly, McKoy has a different version of events. He told the paper that after realizing his car window was shattered, he spotted Dupree -- who happened to be naked -- with his bicycle. McKoy and two other men gave chase and put Dupree in a shoulder hold until police arrived. McKoy was stunned after getting served with Dupree's lawsuit. "I thought it was a joke," he said. "I'm the victim."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joyce Re: problems Dear Webby, why do i have to have to get your humor letter at gmail i don't like it at all i can't get it set up right you have to sign in every morning i was having problemes with my computer that is why i could not get it throught my charter account Joyce Dear Joyce No, the reason you could not get it through is because of the well known gross incompetence at Not your or your computer's fault at all. Those incompetent morons kept bouncing the subscriptions of over 100 of their victims. Just select an email program like Eudora, Pegasus, Outlook, Outlook Express, whatever, and check your Gmail with that. There is a huge selection of email programs at A Gmail ADDRESS is just an address. Don't get stuck with the browser-view. The browser view is just ONE of many ways of looking at your mail. That method is for a fast stand-up check while at the contractor's counter at the Home Depot or while visiting a friend. THAT mehtod is fast, but very limited, and just intended for quick peeking while away from YOUR computer. After you have selected an email program, check in the Gmail help how to set up POP email with THAT program. It's actually quite easy and straight-forward. The browser view is like a submarine periscope. Handy under certain conditions, but very awkward and limited, when you are in the harbor and on the surface. Have FUN! DearWebby
Joe's daughter's eighth grade history class planned a visit to the US capital. Unfortunately, she was not greatly enthusiastic about a trip that she considered too "educational" to be fun. However, on their return, Joe was pleased to hear how she and her classmates had been filled with awe and emotion as they gazed at the Washington Monument. "To think, dad," she marveled. "We were standing right where Forrest Gump stood."
Daily tip from Desert Gardening Tips I live in the Southwest desert and it was costing an arm and a leg to water my plants even though we have no lawn and plant desert adapted versions of plants. Trying to water sparingly just killed the plants and made the survivors look droopy. Finally, I bit the bullet and put in a drip system, which in the summer we run at night to reduce evaporation. Our water use was cut by 75% and the plants have never looked better. To keep the drip working in this hard water area, every few weeks I pull all the drip tips and soak them in vinegar, or CLR if they are really bad. Some of the desert adapted plants are versions of plants grown elsewhere, such as desert gold peaches, and some types of roses which bloom almost all year here with very little care and not much water. So we are able to have a nice, pretty yard that isn't all cactus, eat fresh fruit, and not spend a fortune. By Chiismychi from Tucson, AZ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past sixteen years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! By the way, who are you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
Son: "Here's my report card, Dad, along with one of your old ones I found in the attic." Dad: "Well, Son, you're right. Your report card isn't any better than mine was. I guess the only fair thing to do is give you exactly the same as what my father gave me to smarten me up, when I brought that one home. Now where is that old mule whip?"


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