Realistic looking 3D contrast with digital pictures 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, August 16, 2010

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. --- Tom Wilson But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose. --- Anne Bronte
"I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
Food for Wealth learn how to grow organic food with less than 8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough method to counter food risks and rising costs. You don't need a big garden or lots of time, if you get it right. You can download the book right NOW! Food for Wealth
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
From Dwayne, the Work At Home Coach Free for a very limited time. If you snooze and loose, don't cry on me.
Here's the deal, TODAY I'm giving away something, that makes me $136,808 per month....I don't know if it will make you $136,808 per month, but it makes ME that much, and you would be CRAZY to not let me give it to you...and yes, it's legal !
I can give it to you today here

Thank you so much for your time!

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job," he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." The painter thanked him and agreed to do that. Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope," replied the painter. "I'm a man of my word. I'm here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
Thanks to Guinn for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to William Hussey, 22 from Chapel Hill, NC Stuck in chimney The Knoxville News Sentinel quoted Knoxville police who said a homeowner heard cries for help and traced them to her chimney early Friday. Police found a sport utility vehicle abandoned with a door open in the road near the home. There were seven gasoline containers in it and a strong smell of petroleum coming from it. Then, they found Hussey in the chimney of someone he didnít know. Hussey is 22 and is from Chapel Hill, N.C. The fire department used a rope to hoist him and he was taken to a hospital to be examined. Police charged Hussey with public intoxication, vandalism and aggravated trespassing. According to officers, Hussey had no believable explanation for why he was in the chimney.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharlene Re: Portrait pictures Dear Webby You mentioned once, once upon a time, long, long ago, what to do to take decent portrait pictures with a digital camera. Can you please tell us, or me anyway, once more what needs to be done, to avoid that flat look? Thanks Sharlene Dear Sharlene First, the problem is not unique to digital cameras. You probably have seen drawings of photographers from hundred or more years ago, where the photographer was holding up a flash pan as far as he could reach to the left and upward. That wasn't to avoid singing his hair when the gunpowder and magnesium went off in the borrowed dust pan. The reason for that stretching was to make the flash arrive from an angle, and thereby produce some mose and cheek shadows, and result in a more 3D look. If you do the same with a Slave Flash, held up and sideways just like the photographers held the flash pan, then your pictures will be just as good. Some cameras have a connector for a remote flash, but a lot of them nowadays expect you to get a smart Slave Flash, that gets triggered when it sees the flash on your camera. That works quite well, if you are the only one taking picures. Just glue or tape some white cardboard or plastic an inch in front of the camera flash, so that it will bounce over to where you hold the Slave Flash. Check with the manufacturer of your camera what brand and model of flash they recommend to use with that camera. Most are surprisingly cheap. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Martin for this story: I just applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green with titty pink trim. The City Council told me to go to hell. So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque. .........Work starts on Monday
Daily tip from Freeze Jar Extras in Ice Cube Trays Saving the contents of a partially opened can and other tips to use freezing certain condiments, spices and even garlic. This one is really easy. Once you have opened a large jar of a product, usually it goes into the refrigerator, and sometimes spoils if you do not use it quickly enough. This applies to most canned goods, or other things that may only be used a certain amount of the time. By Bella S. from Forks, WA more at ... Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you please thank her for two pies?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' "

Ľ Puppy Power

A pastor told his congregation that he was going to do a 4 point message series over the next few weeks. Whatever word I end on", he told them, "I want you to sing a song that goes with that word". The first week the word was Rock. So the congregation sang "Rock of Ages". The 2nd week the word was Assurance. So they sang "Blessed Assurance". The 3rd week the word was Cross. They sang "At the Cross". The 4th week the word was sex. The congregation was baffled at what to sing. Finally an 85 yr old woman stood up from the back of the church and started singing "Precious Memories". Try singing that song next time without laughing.

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