How to play MP3 

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It's Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them. --- Robert Orben "Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take." --- Lothar Kaul What you get free costs too much." --- Jean Anouilh "If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if YOU can use either one, it's a miracle." --- Jack Adams
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticiPaddyion written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.
Food for Wealth learn how to grow organic food with less than 8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough method to counter food risks and rising costs. You don't need a big garden or lots of time, if you get it right. You can download the book right NOW! Food for Wealth
Colonel Jack: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Colonel Jack: I always call my drivers by their last names. What's your last name, driver? Driver: It's Darling, sir. Colonel Jack: Drive on, Alfred.
From Dwayne, the Work At Home Coach Free for a very limited time. If you snooze and loose, don't cry on me.
Here's the deal, TODAY I'm giving away something, that makes me $136,808 per month....I don't know if it will make you $136,808 per month, but it makes ME that much, and you would be CRAZY to not let me give it to you...and yes, it's legal !
I can give it to you today here

Thank you so much for your time!

Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time, and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays," Neville then said, "Na, maite, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya blimey idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, aiy!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Donelle Flores, 29, and Billy Evans, 24, now in Kern County California jail Crooks visiting jail get to stay BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- Two people visiting someone in jail Thursday ended up behind bars themselves. Donelle Flores, 29, and Billy Evans, 24, were visiting Lerdo Detentions Center on Lerdo Highway when they were arrested, according to the Kern County Sheriff's Office. Flores was arrested when deputies discovered she was wanted on outstanding felony warrants. She was also found with three syringes, two pouches containing suspected methamphetamine, a pill case containing suspected marijuana, a handcuff key and a small knife. Evans, who accompanied Flores to the jail, was arrested for being a felon on jail grounds and for receiving stolen property. He was in possession of checks that deputies suspect were stolen. Both visitors were booked into the Kern County Jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jai Re: can't play MP3 Dear Webby Question. Someone sent me a WAV and a MP3 file. I have attached them FYI. The only problem is they will not play on my lappie. This is the message I get: ...This file does not have a program associated with it ... She says Windows Media should play it, but it does not. Any idea what to do with this, how to fix it? I am very limited in my knowledge here.... Thanks a lot! Jai Dear Jai They both play fine for me Open the file Explorer TOOLS Folder Options File Types find mp3 and wav, and associate those types with Media Player or QuickTime If you don't see MP3 in there, update Media Player. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Dina for this one: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"
Daily tip from Plan Ahead When Shopping Plan every shopping trip, especially those to the grocery store. Learn the prices of items, so you'll know what is a good buy and what isn't. The more coupons, the better prepared grocery list, the less that has to come out of our wallets. It's money that can be used for other purposes. By Badwater from NV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

They were burying Paddy today and the priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Paddy to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Paddy, even though Paddy was a drunk and a fighter and a crook and never paid back what he had borrowed. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of us MUST get up and say something nice about the man.It's our duty." So as the priest sat down again, in the back pew got up, cleared the throat, and with hat in hand, said, "His brother was worse!".
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Baseball in the Bible? It all started "In the Big Inning." Eve stole first. Adam stole second. Abraham made a sacrifice. Jacob struck out. The prodigal son made a home run. Everybody played baseball until the fall of the Roamin Umpire.

Cape Town

Trishia is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trishia," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet."

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