Good Morning, !
It's Friday, August 27, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Getting cold at night and reminding me that the warming
ripple is over, and we are back to 70's style weather again.
The Saskatoon berries sure are getting sweet and juicy,
almost over ripe. I hope to squeeze out some time today to
go pick a few punds.
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If you haven't any charity in your heart,
you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
--- Bob Hope
When dealing with the insane,
the best method is to pretend to be sane.
--- Hermann Hesse
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his
first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm
handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said,
"Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago
to Bison, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the
name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone
knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there ! Check your
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?"
Customer: "What's the difference? Same animal!"
The agent replied: "That may be so, but flights to Buffalo
are a lot cheaper. Do you want to fly to Buffalo, NY ?
You can take a cab from there to Bison."
Customer: "Yes, sure, whatever."
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New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but
had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write
the guy a check.
The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I
take a check from you ? I don't even know you !"
Thanks to Robert for sending this picture:
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and goes to Shane Alexander, 20, Jason Vantress, 30 in Portlan, Oregon
Cops Stop Shoplifting Suspects At Shop-With-A-Cop Event
PORTLAND, Ore. -- A store full of police officers didn't deter
two men from stealing items from a southeast Portland Fred
Meyer, officers said.
Portland police said 20-year-old Shane Alexander and 30-year-old
Jason Vantress took shoes, clothes, tools and blenders from the
Johnson Creek Fred Meyer Store on Southeast 82nd Avenue
on Wednesday morning during the seventh annual
Shop with a Cop event.
Dozens of police cars and mounted patrol units were in the
parking lot the morning of the incident.
Portland police said they helped arrest the men, who were
caught stealing on surveillance video, and turned them over
to store security officers. The suspects were then taken to
Clackamas County Jail.
Sixty uniformed police officers participated in the charity event,
which allowed 150 children from the Boys and Girls Club of
Portland and Rose Community Center to shop for back-to-school
Donations from Fred Meyer and the bureau's Sunshine Division
gave the kids $30,000 to spend on supplies and other necessities.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Rusty Shoulders
Re: How to set Gmail to POP
please tell me again how to make gmail, pop3
and will i still be able to check it from any computer anywhere
Believe and you will be rewarded
here is the link with illustrated answer:
http://mail.google.com/support/bin/answ ... swer=13273
Usually you can still check your gmail with a browser, even when it
is set to POP, since you still use the browser interface for changing
was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the
CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece
of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you
make this thing work?"
turned the machine on, gestured for the
CEO to insert the paper, and press the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Citrus Peels to Keep Cats Out of Plants
My sweet kitty just loves when I dig up the dirt to plant my
flowerbeds and thinks that she's discovered a new litter box!
After trying other methods: sprinkling in hot pepper (nope),
cayenne pepper (nope), even adding clam shells into the
soil (nope), I tried this.
I heard that animals don't like citrus and so after making
orange-lemonade (3 oranges, 3 lemons and sugar to a gallon, YUM).
I slivered up the peels and sprinkled them around in my
flower bed, under petals so they didn't show. You may also
even add soil to empty citrus fruit peel halves and plant
some small flower seeds and use them as pots! It worked!
No more kitty visits!
I ended up doing the same around my vegetable garden fencing
since a groundhog started making his rounds there soon after!
Hope this helps all my creative friends out there! :D
By AHA! from Sterling, PA
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard.
His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what
"Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the
lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some
artificial respiration and he'll be fine."
"What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real
respiration or nothing."
At the height of a political corruption trial, the
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't
heard the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars
to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The
witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge
leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the
"I'm sorry, your Honor," the startled witness said,
"With that fancy wording, I thought he was talking to you."
|Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
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