Virus warning emails 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, November 6, 2010

Today the combines were active in the fields along the highway,
trailing plumes of dust. The last few days we had warm weather
and 12 - 14% humidity, just perfect for drying the grain. Here
the farmers don't use combines to cut the grain. They cut it with
big tractors and windrow it, to let it dry a few days. 

Then they drive along with the big combines picking up the 
windrows, threshing the grain, shredding the straw to return it
to the field, and pouring the grain into the oversize trucks.

The price they get for the grain depends not only on the
nutritive quality, but the moisture content, or lack of it. 
Windrowing is extra work, but they consider it worth it.

I always enjoy seeing a herd of combines working a field.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


The purpose of life is to fight maturity. --- Dick Werthimer Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. --- Ambrose Bierce I have a perfect memory. I can't remember the last time I forgot something. --- Socratex An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Evan Esar
Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?" He replied, "Probably the same thing."
The band class was just getting under way when a large insect flew into the room. The sixth-graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no more. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to ensure its fate. "Is it a bee?" another student asked. "Nope," Tommy replied. "Bee flat."
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Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Bird of paradise
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Deon Williams, 19, in Brooklyn, NY birdbrained bandit took turkey stuffing to a whole new level A Brooklyn teen was caught on video shoving a 12-pound turkey breast into his baggy sweatpants -- and then waddling out of a Bed-Stuy grocery with an irate butcher hot on his trail, sources said yesterday. "He's got a big turkey in his pants!" Fine Fare Grocery cashier Michelle Benjamin yelled to butcher Sergio Marte, who chased down alleged poultry poacher Deon Williams, 19, outside the Marcus Garvey Boulevard store. "You have something in your pants!" Marte barked at Williams, who squealed back, "I'll give it to you -- don't touch me!" "I don't want to touch you -- just give me the turkey!" Marte demanded. Williams dumped it on the street, and when Marte bent over to pick it up, the teen clocked him in the jaw, the butcher said. "He swung at me, and then he ran," the 42-year-old butcher said, showing off a still-swollen cheek. The brazen heist was caught on surveillance video, and cops nabbed Williams on Wednesday. "We know this guy," store owner Julio Delossantos told The Post. "He had two friends with him. I believe they were learning from him. "Even though customers were there, he did it right in front of them." The cashier, Benjamin, said, "I saw him putting it in his clothes," adding that she saw his two apprentices paying close attention. "I asked [Williams], 'What are you teaching the both of them?' " She said she demanded the teen put the turkey back -- and he claimed he would, but instead, he just walked out the door. "We told the manager to look at the camera, but by the time he did, they were already walking out," Benjamin said. Williams was charged with robbery, petit larceny and criminal possession of the stolen poultry. He is due back in court Nov. 15. It's not the first time he used his pants to stash a five-finger discount, sources said. Williams was arrested on Aug. 5 after trying to smuggle seven cans of Red Bull out of a bodega on Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint, authorities said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wendy Re: Fake parcel pick-up warning Dear Webby, I keep getting these warning mails about UPS and postal parcel pick-up notices. Are they just a hoax or are they real? Wendy Dear Wendy There was a virus that sent those notices a year ago, and some people say it is going around again, but I have never seen those, only the warnings about them. Quite possibly my MailWasher dumps them without showing them to me. If you do get a parcel pick-up notice by email, just dump it. The post office sends you paper notices, if you have a parcel, FedEx leaves a paper door hanger if they have tried to deliver, while you were out, and UPS, especially across the border, is always bad news anyway. But even they leave a paper notice. UPS may be OK for local deliveries in some areas, but across the border, they are VERY bad news. They charge a brokerage fee, that is usually more than the item is worth. On cross-border orders I always specify: Order cancelled if shipped via UPS. Since 2004 I even have a page up , that spells that out, with invoices that show why. Why Not UPS Have FUN! DearWebby
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The CEO was scheduled to give the keynote address at an important convention so he asked one of his top employees to write a punchy, 20 minute speech for him. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour long speech?!" he demanded. "Half the audience walked out before I was finished." George was baffled. "I wrote you a 20 minute speech," he replied. I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Creative Sink Storage Ideas I have a tip for those of us that still like to do dishes by hand. I was tired of looking at the bottle of dish soap on my sink, so I decides to get a cute pickle dish with 3 sections at the dollar store and place my sink items I use every day in it. I also got a lemon squirt bottle for my dish soap. That way you don't waste as much and no big bottle at your sink. You can use ketchup/mustard any refillable smaller bottle. I know I could put it under my sink, but, with everyone using the sink, it's easier for us. I hope some one can use this idea! By diva53d from Foymount, Ontario http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two men were playing golf together for the very first time. The first player teed off and hit the ball into a clump of trees. He finally got onto the fairway, only to hit the ball into a water hazard. The next shot resulted in a new ball flying over a fence onto a busy street. The second player said, "Maybe you should use an old ball for this shot." The first player replied, "I don't have any old balls."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at that man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty' So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!" With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That's the prosecutor."

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