What is an external sound card? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, November 15, 2010

BEIJING (AFP)  China overtook the United States at the head of the 
world of supercomputing on Sunday when a survey ranked one of 
its machines the fastest on the planet.

Tianhe-1, meaning Milky Way, achieved a computing speed of 
2,570 trillion calculations per second, earning it the number one 
spot in the Top 500 (www.top500.org) survey of supercomputers.

The Jaguar computer at a US government facility in Tennessee, 
which had held the top spot, was ranked second with a speed of 
1,750 trillion calculations per second.

Interesting, but not surprising, considering that rules and 
regulatons make building computer chips in the US impossible.

DearWebby

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. --- Socratex
The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the new teacher decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals. "I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees." The children looked at her blankly. "I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns." No response. This wasn't going well at all! Finally a kid volunteered: "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive mink fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill till a month after Christmas."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jack and Leslie Johnson, Prince Georges County, MD Prince George's Co. Executive Jack Johnson, Wife Arrested ANNAPOLIS, Md - Prince George's County's top official and his wife were accused Friday of tampering with evidence after agents tapping his cell phone heard him tell her to flush a $100,000 check from a developer down the toilet and hide nearly $80,000 cash in her underwear as FBI agents were at their door, according to an affidavit. County Executive Jack Johnson, whose second term expires next month, and his wife, Leslie, who was recently elected to the County Council, were charged with witness and evidence tampering and destruction, alteration and falsification of records in a federal investigation. Jack Johnson said Friday night he was innocent of the charges. The investigation related to allegations that some real estate developers in the county were bribing public officials in exchange for official acts favorable to certain developers and their companies. The Johnsons could be heard on the phone by FBI agents discussing how to get rid of evidence, after agents came knocking at their Mitchellville home on Friday, according to an affidavit from investigators. "Tear it up! That is the only thing you have to do," Johnson told his wife, according to the affidavit. Leslie Johnson then could be heard asking her husband, "Do you want me to put it down the toilet?" The county executive responded, "Yes, flush that," according to the affidavit, which noted that monitoring agents heard a flushing sound in the background. Johnson then told his wife to put cash in her underwear, according to the affidavit. After FBI agents entered the home, they searched Leslie Johnson and recovered $79,600 from her underwear. The Johnsons were arrested at home and released later on personal recognizance. Jack Johnson was placed on home detention with electronic monitoring. They both face a maximum of 20 years in prison. U.S. Attorney Rod Rosenstein said authorities have tapped Jack Johnson's phone since January 2010. This has been a lengthy investigation involving the FBI and the IRS, he said, and prosecutors expect more charges to be filed and more people to be charged. Jack Johnson, 61, has been county executive since 2002; his term ends in three weeks. The Democrat was the county state's attorney for eight years before that. Born in Charleston, South Carolina, Johnson attended Benedict College and got his law degree from Howard University, where his wife was also a law student.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Beetle Re: What is an external sound card? Dear Webby, I don't know what an external sound Card is and after reading the tech support.. ..I still don't know what is an external sound card. External speakers..yes. Take Care Beetle --------------------- Dear Beetle When your internal sound card on a computer, where it is built into the motherboard, is shot, you can replace the motherboard, or you can plug an external sound card into a USB port. You can also do that, if the built in sound card is just barely good enough for warning beeps and such stuff at the office, but not good enough for real music at home. Then you plug an external sound card into a USB port when you get home. You can plug a head-set, headphones, speakers, or your big ol living room stereo into the external sound card, and leave them all plugged into that, just unplug the USB cable from the laptop, when you take it to the office, or in your case, probably the "office". Have FUN! DearWebby
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A couple had a fatal car accident on their way to get married. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. Saint Peter showed up and they asked him. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer ... for two months ... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?" Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "GET REAL !" St Peter shouted, "it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find two lawyers and a judge?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Groceries at Scratch and Dent Stores I shop at a scratch and dent grocery store about 50 miles from my home. The savings far surpass the the cost of the gasoline. I have gotten $200.00 of groceries for $60.00 before! Check on the internet for the nearest place for "scratch and dent" stores in your area! You must be careful for expired merchandise but I have never had a problem. By mamasue46 from Hagerstown, MD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A theologian and an astronomer were talking together one day. The astronomer said that after reading widely in the field of religion, he had concluded that all religion could be summed up in a single phrase. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," he said, with a bit of smugness, knowing that his field is so much more complex. After a brief pause, the theologian replied that after reading widely in the area of astronomy he had concluded that all of it could be summed up in a single phrase also. "Oh, and what is that?" the astronaut inquired. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder what you are!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Dutch police congratulated for stealing people's cars Dutch police chiefs have congratulated officers for stealing cars, which drivers had left running while they went to the shops. The two officers in Tilburg drove off on three separate occasions in cars left with the keys still in the ignition. They drove the cars for several hundred metres while their owners gave chase on foot. They gave the cars back. A police spokesman said: "They wanted to prove how fast a real thief can get away with a car." The police chief told Limburgs Dagblad: "They scared the hell out of the drivers. They'll certainly be more careful next time."

Lavender





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