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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, November 19, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

When the EzineFinder is down, like it was again yesterday, 
there is nothing I can do about it. They are not on our servers, 
but hosted somewhere in California. Your letters show me, that
you tried to vote, which cheers me, but please don't expect 
instant results or a reply.

Right now it's -26. I got the driveway to the garage shoveled
in the afternoon, when it was warmer. Still got to do the sidewalk
in the front along 2nd Street, and will probably do that this
afternoon, if it either warms up a bit or if the wind slows down.
As it is, I am not too concerned. In this wind, there are no 
pedestrians out and about anyway.


"A collection of a hundred Great brains makes one big fathead." --- Carl Gustav Jung "Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him." --- Albert Schweitzer "He who gives when he is asked has waited too long." --- Sunshine Magazine
The golfer stood at the edge of the water and attempted to pitch the ball over it. It went in. A voice boomed out from above.... "USE AN OLD BALL". He dropped a new ball and put that one in the water. The voice again boomed out from above ....."USE AN OLD BALL". He proceeded to hit a half dozen brand new balls into the water. Each time the voice boomed out from above "USE AN OLD BALL". Finally he looked up and said "Where can I buy an old ball?"
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A man was driving down a local street one day in an open convertible and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a cop was watching the intersection. The cop pulled out after him and stopped him 2 blocks away and asked him for his " License, registration and proof of insurance" The driver said: "Hey I wanna know exactly what I did wrong first?" The Officer responded "Please watch your tone of voice, you failed the stop sign back there!" The driver said: "Hey man, I slowed down enough, what the heck is the difference?" The police officer then pulled out his night stick and his long flashlight began bashing them over the mans head in a spirited drum solo. Within seconds the driver was howling: "Hey, man, stop that. Stop it. Stop, please!" The officer said " Now, do you want me to really stop, or just slow down a bit ?"
Thanks to Beetle for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Mt Tombstone in the Oglivie Mountains in the Yukon
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carey Sterling, 43, in Missoula, Montana Thanks to Kathy for alerting me to this one: Homesick for jail MISSOULA - The Missoula woman who stole a meter maid's scooter and then tried stealing a police car just a few months ago, was recently sentenced and then she set a fire in the Missoula Police Department and assaulted an officer. Just last week Carey Sterling was sentenced for stealing the Missoula Parking Commission's scooter. The judge gave her credit for the time she already served in jail and she was given a deferred sentence. "Please don't do anything in the next 6 months except pay this off," said Missoula District Court Judge Dusty Deschamps, when he sentenced Sterling last Tuesday and told her to pay off her fines. Sometime in the last week Sterling got out of jail and on Wednesday she came into the Missoula Police Department to confess to an arson. In court documents, prosecutors say the officer she was speaking to told her she didn't have enough details about the crime and that it needed to be investigated further. The officer also thought Sterling was trying to get back into jail and he told her he wouldn't arrest her at that time. Sterling then told him "Well I guess I will just have to assault you then." She then kicked him in the shin, punched him in the face and sat down, waiting to be arrested. The officer went in to talk to his supervisor and when he came out, he saw that Sterling had set a garbage can on fire in the entrance of the police department. Sterling is being charged with assault on a peace officers and negligent arson, and now gets to sit off her deferred sentences at the warm and cozy Missoula Govt Resort..
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: Losing WORD Dear Webby Hi Webby, I just read the tech pits about CrapCleaner. That happens to me with my Word settings. If I leave Word open, would it work the same way and leave my settings alone? Thanks. Carol --------------------- Dear Carol CrapCleaner won't touch anything that is open. With WORD you may have some different problems and have the settings set for just that document, instead of as default. Most word processors are like that and let you set some basic default settings, that apply to everything, and then some document specific detail settings. CrapCleaner won't touch default settings, but may clean out document specific settings for documents, that are no longer open. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England. They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta." A man pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?" "1215," answers the guide. The man looks at his watch and says, "Shoot! We missed it by a half hour!"
Daily tip from Re-Run, no new tip today Start Christmas Cactus for Next Year's Gifts It is a little too late for this holiday season but you can get started for next year. I was in a store the other day and glanced at the price of their Christmas Cactus. To pay $134.00 for a gift that will cost me max $2.00 is crazy. If you start now, you can save. Take a piece of your own Christmas cactus and put it in a small pot (2 inch) with good potting soil. As the year goes on fertilize with liquid fertilizer once a month. Once it starts growing, repot to 3 inch and so on, but remember they do better root bound. By the holidays next year, you should have a good size plant(s) to give as gifts. By Katarinabell from Sunny Florida The secret for good growth and lots of blossoms with those is wind. They need the wind to pump moisture and nutrients up to the leaves. Just like trees, the more wind they get, the tougher and stronger they get. There is no need to bring them in because of a storm. To get them to look like this (Click through for larger picture), dad hangs them from post supported beams, that are 8 feet above ground, all frost free months, then in an unheated lean-to until a week or two before Christmas. Hanging them under the eaves or from balcony ceilings works well too. A single leaf broken off one around Christmas and suspended in a glass of water, will have created enough roots for successful potting around Valentines Day. Have FUN! DearWebby If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours later. The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented. Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful lady on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said, "Please, talk to me! Quick!" She said, "Why?" "Because I've been looking for my wife all over this silly mall and I can't find her," the man replied. "How will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is." "I didn't think you did. However, every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When Steven returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Hmmm," said Steven very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones I nipped at that Hotel on our honeymoon."

The Chalk Guy

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