Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Subscriber Lillemor sent me a rather disturbing link:
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=40395
Muslim Brotherhood Front Group Trains Airport Screeners

The Muslim Public Affairs Council (MPAC) has completed training 
for 2,200 Transportation Safety Officers at the Los Angeles 
International Airport, according to a press release found on the 
MPAC website. 

MPAC is the outfit, that ordered Obama to stop using the words
terrorists, jihad, etc., when referring to "incidents" like 9/11
Apparently they figure that, if you can't name the enemy,
you can't aim at him.

Just in case they outsource airport security to Al Quaeda next,
I think next time I can afford to travel to the US, I'll try riding
a freight train again. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because
you can only do little - do what you can."
--- Sydney Smith

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world."
--- Anne Frank


Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their
decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding
and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
 "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers "Yes".
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
 Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "
 Pharmacist: "Definitely."
 Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
 Pharmacist: "Of course."
 Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, Jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for
Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob says to the pharmacist:
"OK, we'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please."



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A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home,
he was looking at the things she had purchased.

He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words
"Queen Size".

He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed,

"Grandma, are these for mom ? They are the same size as mom's bed!"


Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

The sun, yesterday. 

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Enson M. Ibanez, 25, in Salem, MA

Man picks arrest rather than return 'too heavy' stolen planter 
Police arrested an Attleboro man Friday night when detectives 
spotted him and another man in the middle of Derby Street 
struggling to carry a large planter from a Derby Street business.

Enson M. Ibanez, 25, is charged with disorderly conduct, 
malicious destruction, and larceny, but police offered the 
man a reprieve: Put the planter back where you found it 
and we won't arrest you.

"No, it's too heavy," Ibanez told police, according to the report.
Ibanez then put both his hands in front of him insinuating 
he wanted the police to put handcuffs on him and arrest him, 
the report said.

Detectives Eric Connolly and Dennis Gaudet were in an 
unmarked cruiser at 11:30 p.m. Friday when they saw Ibanez, 
another man and a woman in front of Rouge Cosmetics at 
322 Derby St.

The two men picked up the large planter containing a bush 
and a set of white lights.

"The two males and the female then walked in the direction 
of Lafayette Street with the two males having extreme 
difficulty carrying the heavy pot," police wrote in their report.

The two men dropped the planter, leaving it in the middle of the road.
When detectives got out of their cruiser, the other man ran away. 
The woman, who was not named by police, will be summonsed 
to court.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Mark
Re: Line End in Excel

Dear Webby,
I know you answered this question before, at least once,
but I can't find it.
How do I make a line end, carriage return, new line, 
whatever you call it, in an Excel text, that is generated 
by a formula? Hitting ENTER just makes the cursor go
onto the next cell.
Thanks
Mark
---------------------
Dear Mark
Hit ALT and ENTER

For example:
=CONCATENATE("Dear ",K2,"!  ALT + ENTER
 Your "&TEXT(P42, "mmmm dd, yyyy"), order is ready.)    ALT + ENTER
  
Have FUN!
DearWebby



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One night a father was helping his son with his homework.  The
father asked "What is the Gross National Product?"

His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Shop Early Morning for Mark Downs
One good way to save money at the grocery store without 
clipping coupons is to shop early in the morning. By getting 
to the store at 8 a.m. or so, you are able to take advantage 
of the mark downs. They do go fast.

By Carla from Huntington, WV

http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night
and in the middle of a storm. The storm was so strong he could
hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car coming
towards him and stopping.

The guy without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door
just to realize there's nobody behind the wheel.

The car starts slowly, the guy looks at the road and sees a curve
coming his way, scared he starts to pray begging for his life.
He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve,
a hand appears thru the window and moves the wheel.

The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appears every
time they are before a curve.  The guy gathering strength jumps out
of the car and runs to the nearest town.

Wet and in shock he goes to a cantina and asks for two shots of tequila,
and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he went thru.
A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying
and wasn't drunk.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the same
cantina and one says to the other, "Look Pepe, that's the bozo that got
in the car when we were pushing it."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun 
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression.
The down side is, the minute you stop licking,
the frog gets depressed again."





 »   Painted Desert

An architect, an artist and a engineer were discussing whether
it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.  The architect
said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
enduring relationship.

The artist said he  enjoyed time with his mistress,because of the
passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?"

"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume
you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
office and get some work done."

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