Locked Titles in Excel 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thank you Helene ! 
Thank you Cheryl !
Thank you Cookie !

If you are in Great Britain, this might be a good Christms to
celebrate elsewhere. The earliest wintry blast for 17 years
put GB right back into the cold ripple, crippled the transport
network and already claimed at least 13 lives. 

Six or more inches of snow are predicted for next week,
and most definitely a White Christmas, with temperatures 
in the -20s inthe northern half and Scotland.

Hundreds of motorists are still battling to get hoime after
Scotland endured what it's transport minister, Stewart Stevenson
called the "worst snow and ice conditions since the 60's".

The government advised that, if you can't stay away, stay home.

A baby boom is expected late August 2011.

Have FUN!

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The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. --- Thomas Overbury
Thanks to Manin for this one: A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind. Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?" Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?" Student: "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A". Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what's the question?" Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? " The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased. The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can't get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? " To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands. "All right" says the professor and asks his favourite student to answer "It's quite easy, sir" says the student "You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal, nor logical."
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My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her and asked. "Would you like to go out, girl?" Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of the evening that Dad finally confessed that his question had actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lawrence Bidlack, 46, in Geneva, Ill Principal clocked at 103 mph in 45 mph zone GENEVA, Ill. (UPI) -- The principal of a suburban Chicago school could face up to a year in jail after allegedly driving his sports car 103 mph in a 45 mph zone, police said. Police said Lawrence Bidlack, 46, principal of Geneva Middle School North, was pulled over after he was clocked driving his Porsche nearly 60 mph over the speed limit in Campton Hills and is now facing a misdemeanor charge with a possible one-year sentence, the Chicago Sun-Times reported. The Sun-Times said Bidlack couldn't be reached for comment and Geneva School District 304 Superintendent Kent Mutchler said it will be up to the courts to decide the principal's fate. ------------- Not setting a good example!
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Trevor Re: Can you lock titles in Excel? Dear Webby, Can you lock title rows and side columns like in other spreadsheets? I am pretty sure you can by now, but I can't find anything in the Excel help about that. What do you know about it? Trevor --------------------- Dear Trevor In the early days of spreadsheets there was fierce competition with huge law suits. For example, Lotus123 sued Borland Quattro for using the same "Look And Feel", because Borland had been reasonable and kept the gas pedal on the right. Even though Borland had developed their own, much better and faster code, they initially kept the user interface similar to VisiCalc, which had been adopted by Lotus. To make a long and sordid story short, the courts told Borland to change the user interface and make it look different from Lotus. That became tradition, and when Excel came along, they didn't want use the term "Locked Titles" for fear of getting sued by Borland Quattro. So they called it "Freezing a pane" and are still extremely careful about never mentioning anything about locking a title row or title column. You CAN do it, though, even without using Quattro to install locked title rows and then saving it in Excel format. Just highlight the row BELOW the one, that you want locked, click on WINDOW and select FREEZE PANEL. To lock a column, highlight the column to the right of it, click on WINDOW and select FREEZE PANEL. It does the same as VIEW, Locked Titles. For those, who are new to spreadsheets, Borland sold Quattro to WordPerfect, to use in their Office Suite. Then later Corel bought Word Perfect, added their graphics and is now selling Corel Office, still including Quattro and Word Perfect. Have FUN! DearWebby
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"Grandma, where did I come from?" I responded quite nervously because my son and daughter-in-law were out of town and since I did not know how much about the "Birds and the Bees" they had told Sally, I was stalling until they returned home: "Well, honey, the stork brought you." "Where did Mom come from then?" "The stork brought her, too." "OK, then where did you come from?" "The stork brought me too, dear." "Okay, thanks, Grandma." I did not think anything more about it until two days later when I was cleaning Sally's room and read the first sentence of her paper, "For three generations there has been no sex in our family, which is probably the reason everybody is so grouchy."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Shampoo For the cleanest, softest, fluffiest hair imaginable for literally pennies, save your old shampoo bottle. When you buy more, pour half of it into the old bottle and fill each bottle the rest of the way with a half and half solution of vinegar and water. The lather will be the richest ever, and your hair will squeak. It lifts the oils off your scalp so your hair stays clean looking longer and it rinses clean.There is no need to use creme rinse or conditioner, either. I use plain old Suave shampoo, about a dollar a bottle, and it makes my hair look and feel better than any expensive shampoo I have ever tried. The vinegar smell does not linger - try it! By dollyslaffn from Darien, GA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The case concerned a will Kelly was a witness. "Was the deceased," asked the attorney, "In the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said the Irishman. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone. "
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Working as a cargo handler for a major package delivery company, I came across an express envelope with shipping instructions that puzzled me, particularly the line describing the contents. The description read, "Instructions for the Ass of God." At first I thought I was processing one of our company's most momentous pieces of freight. Then I found out that the name of the destination was the "Assembly of God" church, and the parcel contained some kind of printer manual.

Microscopic Pictures
Overheard while waiting in line at the bank: Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, and he will too.

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