Projection graphs 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thank you Bill ! 
Thank you Lawrence!

A friend forwarded me an article about how the WikiLeak supporters
had attacked Sarah Palin's site with a massive Denial Of Service
attack, to silence her and prevent her from speaking out against

Huh ?
On one hand, the leaky kids demand free speech and freedom
of information, but woe unto anybody, who dares speak out
against them. They seem to be even more immature, 
than I had thought they were!

Have FUN!

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please donate what you can!
"A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free." --- Nikos Kazantzakis If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. --- Dick Cavett
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already potty-trained."
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On vacation one year I went to a resort in Wyoming. As part of the usual activities, a neighboring ranch invited guests from our resort to participate in a cattle drive. After watching 20 make-believe cowpokes whooping and hollering, I rode up to the ranch owner and asked her how many cowboys it normally takes to drive a herd of that size. "One," she replied, "and a dog."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Osewski, 20, in Bolingbrook, Ollinois Convicted burglar hits same house BOLINGBROOK, Ill., Dec. 7 (UPI) -- Police in Illinois said a man on probation for burglary returned to the same home and took many of the same items. Bolingbrook police Lt. Mike Rompa said "a laptop computer, camera, Wii and Xbox video game systems, a platinum and diamond engagement ring, other jewelry, stocks, bonds and $50 in change -- roughly $20,000 worth of property" was stolen during the Nov. 30 break-in. Investigators said similarities to a May 28, 2009, burglary at the same residence led them to interview Robert Osewski, 20, who was on probation for the crime. Osewski and alleged accomplice Anthony Gant, 21, were arrested and charged with residential burglary. Osewski was charged with an additional count of possession of stolen property. Police said some of the stolen items were recovered in a Lemont forest preserve.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ada Re: Excel graph trick Dear Webby, or should I call you Mr Excel? My boss saw a graph of something or other, that had the current points on the graph projected to the right, as if there was not going to be any changes from today to year end. He tried and cussed for hours, but just couldn't find a way to do that. I tried too, and couldn't either. We have the date in column A, then today's weight of one client in column B, and the change up or down from yesterday in column C. Column C is used on the graph, showing the daily changes. Then D and E are for the 2nd client, F and G for the 3rd, and so on. That much works OK, but he doesn't want the line for future dates to drop to zero as if the client had died, and is quite obsessed about that. Can you help me look good? Thanks Ada --------------------- Dear Ada There is no command or choice for that in Excel. You have to do it with a little formula. Let's assume today is day #341 In column B341 you have some weight number. In column C we want either the difference between today and yesterday, or else, if there is no weight number in column B, we will just repeat yesterday's number in Column C. In a formula, you wold say that like this: (in C341) =IF(B341<>"",+B341-B340,+C340) IF B 341 is NOT empty, then B341 - B340, else what is in yesterday's C: C340 Copy that from C341 all the way to year end or a few hundred lines down into column C. Highlight C341 down to the bottom, CTRLC to copy that, go to E341, CTRL V to paste, go to G341, CTRL V to paste, and so on. Now when you look at the graph, each person's jaggy line ends with a perfectly level laser beam from today to the right end of the graph, in the same color as their jagged history line. Just straight math and easy to understand graph. However, if you were a COGR (Consensus Of Grant Requestors) Scientist, then you would modify that formula to =IF(B341<>"",+B341-B340,+C340*1.035) to make the projected future lines curve ever steeper upward. A smart COGR scientist of course will expect some criticism and a need to quickly adjust. You probably don't have anything in cell A1, so write 1.015 into that cell, and modify the formula to =IF(B341<>"",+B341-B340,+C340*$A$1) and copy that into columns C, from day 2 to the last day of the sheet. Copy that column into columns E, G, I, etc. Whatever fudge number or COGR factor you put into A1, the spreadsheet will use that in place of $A$1 in the formula. Now, by simply changing the secret number in A1, you change how the future projection curves up or down. In your business a negative number like -1.01 might look better, for a slight downward trend. Yes, you too can be a COGR scientist! Have FUN! DearWebby
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A mouse returned from the laboratory to his cage and told a fellow mouse, "I've finally got Dr. Snooker trained." "You have?" asked the other. "Yes, explained the first mouse. "Every time I press down the bar, he gives me food. You should try it too!"
Daily tip from Cinnamon Sticks to Decorate Packages I wrap up cinnamon sticks with plaid ribbon and use it on gifts along with the bows as an "extra" gift. I also use the cinnamon sticks as Christmas ornaments. By ilovemydog from Pittsburgh, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her. At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any, she thought. Then she heard his mother's reply. "No!" she said, looking in her direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You drove today, you dope."

Balloon Animals
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Schwartz, the town grouch. So Schwartz went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special: "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Schwartz: "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Schwartz wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Schwartz to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Schwartz," says the doctor. So Schwartz goes home very mad. One month later, Schwartz goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Schwartz, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Schwartz fled the office..

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