Printing calendars 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, December 11, 2010
Thank you David!

When I went to the kitchen to get some water, I noticed 
that the outside motion activated light was on and some
movement. There were four deer casually sauntering 
along the fence and taking a shortcut behind the garage
to the back alley. They seem to take that route quite
frequently, but today was the first time I actually saw them.

Because I just have a very low wattage spiral tube light 
out there and it was quite foggy, there was no point 
running for the camera. 

Hopefully by next winter I can set up a motion activated

Have FUN!

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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. --- Oscar Wilde Never confuse motion with action. -- Benjamin Franklin "All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost." -- J. R. R. Tolkien
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks passed before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"
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A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To pull out all his savings?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittney Sykes, 23 and Emma Westhusing, 19 in Portland, Oregon Bank robbers wasted time googling "Tracking Device" Brittney Sykes and Emma Westhusing had been talking about robbing a bank for about a month when the duo allegedly pulled a heist Monday at an Oregon credit union. The weapon-free robbery netted them $1370--for 20 minutes, at least. Sykes, 23, handed the teller a note, while Westhusing, 19, drove the getaway car--were almost immediately undone by a tracking device that the teller placed among the 48 bills she forked over. An amusing U.S. District Court affidavit describes what happened when the duo found the suspicious device when they returned to Sykes’s house to count the loot. Sykes (pictured above left) told investigators that she “went to a computer and searched the Internet to figure out what the device might be.” Panicking and assuming that the pair would be busted, Sykes “ran out to her car and hid the device.” It is unclear why she did not try to dispose of it somewhere besides underneath the driver’s side floor mat in her purple Hyundai Accent. For her part, Westhusing said that when the tracking device was discovered, Sykes thought it was a dye bomb, “so she threw it against the wall.” Her cohort, she added, “then stomped on it, and then looked up what it was on the Internet.” While the pair was busy Googling, Oregon cops were following a GPS signal to Sykes’s Portland residence. The pair was arrested on a federal bank robbery charge.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Printing calendars Dear Webby; Thanks for sharing your time with us. The pics today are beautiful. Wish I knew where they had been taken. I was wondering if you know of a site that I can print off a yearly calendar free. I usually have one next to the pc that is monthly about 3"x3" that I has a sticky top like post it paper but the restaurant it came from is closed now. I tried to make one w/ Microsoft office that is installed here but it comes out too small. I figure I would just cut the months apart & stick them up as I need them. The same goes with copy & paste from the online sites I've seen. Sharon --------------------- Dear Sharon Dear Sharon The pictures are from near Stockholm, Sweden The printing depends a lot on the printer you use. Cheap printers have narrow carriages and wide margins and can really mess up on small items. If I wanted to print 3" x 3" calendars or any size calendars, I would use ClickBook. You have seen me mention it in the Humor Letter many times over the last dozen years. With that you have over 170 different formats you can choose. Look in the Wallet Booklets area, and in the Flip Books. An alternative would be to use Avery Labels, or pretend to. Most word processors have templates for Avery Labels. For example Label # 8164 is 3 1/3" x 4", six per sheet. In Open Office Writer, hit File New Labels and at the bottom right select Avery and 8164 Shipping Labels Whatever you have in the text area in the top there, will show in all six labels, when you hit NEW PAGE. Just edit the other five months, and print. Open Office also has a whole bunch of different calendar and daily planner templates at Have FUN! DearWebby
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As a passenger ship passed a small island, a bearded man could be seen shouting and furiously waving his arms. "Who is that?" a passenger asked the captain. "I have no idea," the captain replied, "But every year when we pass he goes nuts."
Daily tip from Driving Nails Into Plaster Walls Without Cracking If you'll heat a nail hot enough so that you have to handle it with pliers, you'll find that it can be driven into a plaster wall with much less danger of cracking the plaster. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO The pro's do the opposite. We wet the nail by holding it in the mouth. That little bit of spit gives it just enough lubrication, so that on most types of plaster it will go in without causing any cracks. In hot, dry weather it helps to also moisten the spot, where you will drive the nail. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue." "Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of control." "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you make?" asked the banker. "Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because it is a lot safer to argue with you than with her."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

» Ajanta Caves
After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, a very menacing voice was heard from the back, "My recruiter."

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