Merry Christmas! 

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It's Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas,  !

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Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, --- Tom Robbins
Our neighbour used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendicitis is on the wrong side."
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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food in general and Won Ton soup in particular. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now.
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Going to shool during the last ice age. Must have been in a previous life, since I am only 29 in this one. Dianne
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Grant Ison, 21 in Oxford, Ohio Treejacking DECEMBER 22--A drunken Ohio college student is facing a disorderly conduct rap for attempting to chop down a 30-foot pine tree that he intended to use as a Christmas tree. Grant Ison, a 21-year-old student, was collared last Sunday at 2:15 AM after his harebrained attempt to bring down the tree, which was in an alley off an Oxford street. When confronted by a cop--who asked Ison whether he was aware that the tree was 30 feet tall--the student replied, “I was going to just cut it down then cut off the top.” Ison lives around the corner from where he attempted his urban lumberjack act. When an Oxford Police Department officer wondered why he would try such a thing, Ison “replied that he was pretty hammered right now.” Not surprisingly, the patrolman “detected an odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath,” according to a police report. Ison explained that he had been using an ax, but a friend ran off with it when police arrived on the scene of the attempted treejacking. Cops noted that a second tree, height unspecified, had also been damaged during Ison’s early morning tree hunt.
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Thanks to Rose for this: I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
Daily tip from Christmas "Morning" With Grandchildren This is for all grandparents that miss the grandchildren on Christmas morning. My husband and I have done this for years. With everyone so busy now, grandparent time is often the last on the list. So, we arrange for an overnight with the grandchildren, sometimes before Christmas and sometimes it works out to be January. It gives the parents a chance to shop for the kids or have a night to themselves. We pretend that it's Christmas Eve and bake cookies and watch Christmas shows. We hang up our stockings. Then Christmas morning, we have the thrill of watching them open our gifts and those the grandchildren have for us. Then instead of a regular Christmas Dinner, we have a lunch like Poutine Fries, and mini homemade pizzas with ice cream sundaes with all the toppings. The kids love it, no matter if it's before or after Christmas. We, of course, go right to bed as soon as the parents arrive to pick them up, LOL. It is so worth it and its allowed us to be there for Christmas morning every year. Hope you like the idea, it's a private special time for us that we hope to continue for many years. By GAILDARLENE from Toronto. Ontario, Canada Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Thanks to Ann for this: We had been on the road for 15 hours en route from New York to California and were looking for a place to spend the night. At four different motels, however, we were told, "Sorry, no vacancies." Heading back to the car, my seven-year-old son asked solemnly, "Mom, are we vacancies?"

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