She can't find her mail 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It warmed up briefly to -17 in the afternoon, but then quickly
coled off again. Well, that's to be expected in winter. 
I DID notice, though, that the days are getting longer!

Have FUN!

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Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. --- Margaret Mitchell Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy. --- Charles Peters We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. --- Cullen Hightower
As a token of appreciation for their excellent work Gary and Bill got invited to a convention in New York City. There they were wined and dined by the top brass. When they finally staggered out into fresh air, Bill crossed the street, while Gary stumbled into a subway entrance. When Bill reached the other side, he noticed Gary emerging from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred. "I don't know," replied Gary, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement."
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A son and father went to see a doctor since the father was getting very ill. The doctor told the father and son that the father was dying from cancer. The father who was an Irishman, turned to his son and said "Son, even on this gloomy day, its our tradition to drink to health as it is in death; so let's go to the pub and celebrate my demise." Reluctantly, the son followed his father to the local pub. After they left, the son turned to his father and said, "Father, it is not AIDS you are dying from. It is cancer, why did you lie to those men?" The father reply's "Aye, my son, you are right; but I know those guys, and I don't want any of those guys getting close to your mom when I'm gone. I KNOW her rolling pin swing and know she would wind up in jail over it, and then you, poor lad, would be all alone on this sad old world."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. View from Vancouver Island towards Saltspring Island
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jerry Wayne Means, South Charleston, VA Man Pays for Stolen Car with Meth SOUTH CHARLESTON, W. Va. (WSAZ) -- A man caught with a stolen car told police he bought the vehicle from a woman using meth as payment. West Virginia State Police out of South Charleston tells Jerry Wayne Means was driving down I-77 around 11:20 Saturday night. The Oldsmobile Intrigue Means was driving came up stolen on a trooper's mobile plate hunter. Means was pulled over and arrested near Oakridge Apartments on US-119. While in police custody, Means admitted he rented the car from a woman and used $50 bags of meth as payment. Means later told police he bought the car for two grams of meth. Means was charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, delivery of methamphetamine and not having an operational drivers license. In lieu of an arraignment, Means was taken to South Central Regional Jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Esther Re: Can't find the mail I can't find a place to open up and get the email Dear Esther If you can't find and open my reply, then you got a big problem. If you just can't find your subscription, look in the SPAM. Sending it from SPAM to INBOX will usually fix that problem, but you may have to make a filter in Gmail, so that it NEVER puts mail from into SPAM. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Things weren't going too well in the Sunday School class. Nobody seemed to recall the identity of Matthew. Nor did they do any better with Mark. Finally, the teacher said hopefully, "Surely somebody remembers Peter!" A small boy in the last row came to the rescue. "Teacher," he piped, "wasn't he a wabbit?"
Daily tip from Add Handles To Flat Templates I will be cutting and selling appliques for very soon. However, it's hard to find shapes I love that are not flat. So, I went and found some wooden shapes very cheap, and made "handles" for them from bottle caps. All I needed was some contact cement and a day to dry. Now, I can draw around them to my hearts content! If you have something similar like hard cardboard or plastic canvas, and you want to streamline your projects, this will help. If you are working with plastic canvas, make sure you remember not to leave the plastic on paper, fabric, or good furniture, as the glue will ooze through the grids. Source: My own need to pick them up and put them down easier, saving my nails and my sanity! By Sandi from Yorktown, VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed. Joseph said, "Write that one down, Mary; it's a lot better than Bubba ."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?" The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?" "You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left." "Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women." "Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"

Winter Wonder Land

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