Computer for use in bed 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, February 5, 2011

Occasionally, though not very often, I glance at the MailWasher
recycle bin to see what kind of spam is fashionable these days.
That's always good for a chuckle.

I have an INcoming only address as, for
people reporting abuse, like mothers, who don't recognize their
daughter's new address and want to report a stalker sending
them a birthday card.

No mail is ever sent out from that address. 
So it is really funny when I see an email from a Russian
"lady", writing:
Dear Abuse!
I saw your profile and want to get naked for you. 
Just mail me back at my hotmail address.
Maria in Russia
" gets similar fan mail.

Naturally MailWasher dumps that stuff and unless I peek
into the recycle bin, I never see it. But it sure is amusing
when I do.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female." --- Cyril Connolly If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport. --- George Winters "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband." --- Michel de Montaigne
Shirley had 2 two red ears and went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a blouse and the phone rang -- but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?" "George from upstairs called and wanted to know what all the screaming was about."
Permanent SMTP account. Have you ever had problems sending email? Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people who use their business email address. SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels that block outgoing emails. There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day, plenty to see how well it works. For a very limited time, you can get a standard account for just $1.99. There is no need to change your address or your email program, and you can use different email addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing you problems.

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town for some Christmas shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said. The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cody Bragg, 18 in Lexington, Ohio Thanks to Penny for sending in this report! Purse snatcher reports being followed Snow plow driver John Shuman didn’t like what he saw in the Walmart parking lot. Consequently, he followed a man identified by police as a purse-snatching suspect. That suspect, Cody Bragg, 18, likewise did not like what he was seeing in his rear view mirror – a snow plow hot on his trail. Both were so disturbed by the Wednesday evening events that each made telephone calls to law enforcement officials. Shuman reported that he witnessed a purse snatching outside the Walmart at 2700 W. State St. Someone snatched a woman’s purse from a shopping cart. When the victim resisted, she reportedly was dragged several feet while the culprit drove away with her purse. Bragg, according to city police, expressed concern about being pursued by a snow plow truck. “The guy followed him for a little while before he called in,” police Lt. Kevin Moore said. “I guess he realized the guy wasn’t going to stop following him. He called 911. It was eventually transferred to us.” Eventually, these events led to the arrest of Bragg, who is facing charges of robbery and theft from Alliance police. Stark County sheriff’s deputies also charged Bragg, of 15579 Greenbower St. NE, Lexington Township, with a second robbery charge. “He did not admit to what he did to the dispatcher,” Moore said. “He called because he was being followed. And he did reference the purse snatching.” Moore explained that Bragg reported another individual had snatched the woman’s purse. But the victim and the snow plow driver told authorities there was only one person in the vehicle when the purse snatching occurred. Shuman, 45, a Nimishillen Township resident, recalled having suspicions of Bragg when he noticed him in the vicinity of a handicapped parking spot. Shuman said he kept watch as a female shopper approached. “He just rolled forward and put his hood over his head,” Shuman said. “I knew at that point he was up to no good. As soon as my mind was processing what could happen, he was reaching his hand out the (vehicle) window and snatched the purse.” Despite the inclement conditions of Wednesday night, Shuman decided to follow the vehicle. “I probably pursued him for over a half hour,” Shuman said. While Shuman did not apprehend the suspect, he pursued him to the eastern edge of Canton. Police from Canton apprehended Bragg in the vicinity of a Walmart at 3200 Atlantic Blvd. NE.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Glenda Re: Computer for bed Dear Webby I will be having minor surgery later this month and will need to keep my foot elevated as much as possible. What are the minimum requirement for a laptop, netbook, or tablet that will allow me to read email (including attachments), surf, and watch videos including movies from Netflix and etc? thank you! Glenda Dear Glenda Just get a regular laptop. If you hate yourself, get one with Windows 7. If you like yourself, go in through the business entrance at DELL or Lexmark or a big dealer like that, though preferably NOT HP, talk to a rep and ask for recommendations for a laptop with Windows7 PRO or PLUS, but XP factory installed. Any laptop capable of just barely running Windows 7, is lightning fast on XP, and has everything you need. It's like putting a lean and mean Pick-up cab on a frame and engine made for a 40 foot Winnebago. You will be able to do anything with it, that you can do with your desktop machine. Laptops become very uncomfortable on your lap after a few hours, so you might also set aside $40 - $140 for a nice, wheeled "Over Bed Table". Best are those that tilt, and have a "U" configuration for the legs, so that they can also be used with easy-chairs, that are closed at the bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you have Windows 7, sooner or later you WILL need this! Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech willing to do it without calling the cops about a potentially stolen computer. RoboForm is great, once you are booted up. This program takes care of the boot-up password, so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other passwords. YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not quite as perfect as you are, then better get the Password Resetter

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change." Jones sighed: "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river -- look, my suit's still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
Daily tip from Masking Tape on Shoes for Traction Growing up in Minnesota, if the ground was slippery and the tread was a bit worn on our shoes and boots, we would place several strips of regular masking tape on the soles. This gives great gripping power for your feet and your back side may not get such a beating from falls! By Dawndidit from Junction City, KS Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car bogged down. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? You must be doing it at night!" "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole. My wife ploughs the fields, .... with the new tractor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

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