Happy St Patrick's Day! 



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Good Morning,  !
It's  Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St Patrick's Day!

They moved me into a room today, with huge store front type windows,
looking South over the reservoir and towards the mountains.
Once the blizzards stop, I am going to wish I had a camera here!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Lead me not into temptation. Just tell me where it is; I'll find it! --- Cookie
Thanks to Roland for this story: Didja hear about the hillbilly whose wife was an amputee? He figgered the "reckoned ammendment" of the constitution gar'n'teed him the privilege to purchase newlimbs for her. "Sez right heer, ah have the right to buy 'er arms." The hillbilly didn't exactly get it right. What he could do was have arms transplanted from a grizzly because ... she had the right to bear arms. And she could show them to anyone she pleased because ... she had the right to bare arms.
"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London bus near an Irish nun. "We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful." "Dear me!" said the first lady. "well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first lady objected. At this point the Irish nun could no longer hold her tounge. "Why don't ye go t' hell," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nathan Wayne Pugh, 49, of Sachse, Texas. Bank robber shows 2 setsof ID DALLAS -- A hapless bank robber who abided by a Dallas teller's request to provide two forms of identification before she could give him money is going to prison. A judge sentenced 49-year-old Nathan Wayne Pugh of Sachse to more than eight years on Tuesday, to be served concurrently with the 25 years he got for defaulting on 2 previous suspended sentences. He will probably not commit any morebank robberies for five years. While robbing a Wells Fargo Bank on July 26, Pugh gave the teller a note saying a “bom” was inside a paper bag he was carrying and ordered her to put money in an envelope. The newly-hired teller remained calm and asked Pugh to show her two IDs before she could give him the money. The absent minded robber complied and showed her his Wells Fargo debit card and a Texas state ID card. The teller had pressed the silent alarm at her teller station before giving Pugh $900, the only money in her cash drawer. Pugh took the money and proceeded to leave the bank when arriving police prompted him to take a customer hostage. However, that customer refused to participate and fought off Pugh, causing him to fall down hard. Police sat on him, and once they stopped laughing, arrested him.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: How to copy pictures from Newsletters Dear Webby I would like to copy some of the cool pictures you put in your Humor Letter but can't figure out how to print just the picture, without the rest of the letter. When I right click I get a box with "copy" in it but it don't work. Can you help? tx. Ron Dear Ron If you use "COPY", then you have to immediately jump to your paint program or word processor and click on "PASTE". The "COPY" command only copies it into the temporary clipboard. Instead of "COPY", you can select "SAVE AS", then tell it the file name and folder that you want. Have Fun! DearWebby
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"I presume, Mrs Murphy, you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Indeed I do, sir, it's a lock of my Dan's hair." "But your husband is still alive." "That he is," said she "but his hair is long gone!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cereal Box Liner for Child's Craft Surface I use the cereal box liners as a protective surface when children are painting or gluing. Open the bag up on the seam so that you have a good size surface. Happy crafting! By Cher from ME http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up? Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but he's such a liar, you can't believe him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Robby is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party."
And here is the "Specimen" joke so many of you ask for every St Patrick's Day. It's a classic Irish joke that may dent some people's halo, so if you are sensitive to rough language, skip this one. Maureen was feeling a bit ill, and not recovering from a night out anywhere near as fast as Paddy. So he sent her off to the doctor. She came back shortly with a puzzled frown and said: "Oh, Paddy, he wants a "Specimen", but fo the life o me I don't know if we have one or if we can affod t'buy one!" Paddy hemmed and hawed for a while, but couldn't figure it out either. So he finally suggested: "me lass, why don't you go upstairs and ask Maud O'Reilly, she used to work the streets in town and she'll know." So Maureen climbed up the stairs and knocked. Not a minute later, screaming and cussing and the noise of a ferocious fight echoed down the stairwell, soon followed by much banging and clatter as poor Maureen came tumbling down the stairs. As Paddy helped her up he asked her what happend. "Oh Paddy, she's so mean! All I did was ask her what a 'specimen' was, and she told me to 'piss in abottle'! So of course I told her to shit in a hat, and the fight was on."

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