Reverse phone number look-up 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 17, 2011

Friends from both sides in Libya have sent me pictures and 

Considering that the 28 Allied countries are busy testing
their equipment and smashing the infrastructure safely far 
away from any action, the rebels are getting frustrated and
are demanding weapons and ammo and missiles.

The Government side points out that the rebels are killing
more than enough people already with weapons and ammo,
that they stole from the government, and that the Allies are
just making it worse. The death toll is getting almost as bad
as weekends in New Orleans!

About the only thing they all agree on, is that they would 
rather be somewhere outside of Libya.

What puzzles me is why are those 28 countries doing all
their weapons testing in Libya?

Yes, I know, they are too chicken to tackle Iran or 
North Korea or Venezuela or Somalia.

However, with Somalia they could get China and Russia
to help them. Then they COULD bring the piracy issue
to an end.

Have FUN!

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A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody, nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information. The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a pause. Then the lady told her, "You misspelled TEACH."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply USING certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. It's not a matter of buying stuff, just use what you got in smarter combinations. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

In Kabul this morning, the Minister of the Department of National Security held a meeting of all the Karzai "doubles." "I have good news, and some bad news for you all. The good news is, our illustrious leader, Hamid Karzai, is alive!", he announced. A great cheer erupted within the room. "The bad news is that that he lost his testicles and an arm. Corrective surgery for you guys is scheduled for 10 am"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christian Brock, 21, of Dacula, GA Felon with road rage picks on deputy A Gwinnett County felon who picked on the wrong guy during a bout of alleged road rage near Loganville was ordered held without bond at his first court appearance Friday. Police told Channel 2 Action News that Christian Brock, 21, of Dacula, tried to run another driver off Georgia 20 around 11 p.m. Wednesday. It didn't end well for Brock. The other driver was Deputy Paul Frederick of the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Office, who was commuting to work in his own car. The deputy told Channel 2 Action News that the driver swerved to hit him two or three times. "I made every attempt to avoid the situation, slowing down, stopping and he still tried to run into my vehicle," Frederick said in a report by the TV station Thursday. Frederick said he called dispatch, and Gwinnett County police officers arrested Brock. When police searched his car, Frederick said they found a gun, loaded and cocked. The deputy told Channel 2 Action News that police also found Tasers, drugs and black gloves. Brock, who was charged with reckless conduct, aggressive driving, marijuana possession, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and violation of probation, appeared in court at the Gwinnett County Jail on Friday morning, and a magistrate ordered him held without bond until his preliminary hearing on April 21. Brock told Judge Phyllis Russell that he had been unemployed since November, and asked the judge for a court-appointed attorney.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wilma Re: Reverse telephone look-up Dear Webby, Do you know of any Reverse Telephone Look-Ups that are really free? The ones I find will come back saying they found the number; but if you want the name or anything they charge you...even the ones that say free aren't. wilma Dear Wilma I don't think there are any free ones, that are reliable. If somebody is harassing you, tell the cops. If they are not harassing you, harass them! Or put them on hold until after supper. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book. Download and use right away. Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks are provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop- sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three extra people to clean up the mess."
Daily tip from Use The Other Side Of Swiffer Pads When I use the disposable Swiffer type cleaning cloths, I flip them over to use the clean side before tossing them in the trash. This works well with the dry dust mop cloths. It doubles the use of each cloth. The wet ones do ok, but not as well. They seem to tear and pull out of the base when flipped. By Priscilla from Lawton, OK I have been using a micro-fiber dust mop for about a dozen years. Usually I just shake it out in the wind, out on the deck, sometimes I vacuum it, and now and then I toss it into the laundry with jeans. With real Micro-Fiber you have to avoid dryer sheets and if possible, the dryer alltogether. Drying it in a good wind works best to make them real dust magnets. I have seen people use those expensive Swiffers and they don't seem to work nearly as well. I will probably get another twenty years out of it, before I have to think about replacing it. The same goes for my wet mop. It actually is just a heavy string mop, also with a Micro-Fiber material. Not a round yacht mop, but a classic flat string mop like you probably rememember from your school days. Yes, I know, it is heavy, even when it is just damp, and too heavy for one handed use, unless you have industry strengthened arms, but the weight of the mop works to it's advantage and high gloss vinyl and hardwood floors come up shiny with just one pass of the dampened mop. The thought of wasting money on periodic replacements just makes me laugh. It will probably outlive me. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
The battery in John's beat-up VW beetle had died because he left the lights on overnight. He was in a hurry to get to work on time so he ran into the house to get his wife to give him a push to start the car. John told her to get into her car, a prehistoric, oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push the VW fast enough to start it. John pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at a speed of at least 40 MPH for it to start. She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off. John sat there fuming, wondering what could be taking her so long. A minute passed by and then he saw her in the rearview mirror, coming at him at about 50 MPH. It was then that John realized that he should have been A LOT clearer with his directions....
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church. Later that night, her daughter took all of her dolls into the bathtub with her and held her own "baptism." As she dunked each doll under the water, she repeated, "Now I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and hold your nose."

Flora and Fauna

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