Automatic mail sabotage 

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It's Sunday, April 24, 2011
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No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard Great and good are seldom the same man. ---Thomas Fuller
Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the Spring break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. Mark was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked. "Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."
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Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anthony Garcia in California Gang Tattoo Leads To A Murder Conviction Inked on the chest of a Pico Rivera gang member was the detailed scene of a liquor store slaying that had stumped an L.A. County sheriff's investigator for more than four years. It leads to a jailhouse confession from Anthony Garcia - and a first-degree murder conviction. Details are at Tattoo Confession
From Malcolm Re: Auto... Moron Alert Dear Webby, At first I was really upset about your comments regarding auto... No, I better not write it out, so that your MaiWasher won't censor myletter. I have been teaching for 15 years, that a repsonder should be used. And you have the nerve, calling them "Moron Alerts"! While I was fuming and steaming and searching for some choice words, my wife and my mother agreed with you! Totally outnumbered, skunked. They told me the same as you did, just not as diplomatically. Eventually, I had to agree. They are a nuisance, and really not necessary. While an order summary is appreciated, a dumb mail telling me that somebody will answer during office hours is indeed rather dumb. I won't use or recomment moron alerts any more. Malcolm Dear Malcolm Glad you saw the light! Next we have to work on the snoots, who expect everybody to fill out a form, before their email is allowed through. Yeah, right. Their address gets blacklisted instantly. Believe it or not, some of them are so dumb, they expect a newsletter delivery program to fill out their childish form! I am very glad, that there are plenty of people, who ensure their email is not sabotaged with automatic nonsense. Have FUN DearWebby
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"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer. "How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the engineer.
Daily tip from Buying Second Hand Clothing The best way to buy clothing is to buy them second-hand. A lot of people will not shop second-hand because they prefer their clothing brand new, but guess what? Once you've worn your new outfit once or twice it is now USED! Since I've come to that realization it's been a lot easier for me to shop at second-hand clothing stores. And the money saved can be phenomenal. By Wanda from Winnipeg, Manitoba Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Jill was speeding and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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A small boy was standing near an escalator in a department store watching the moving handrail. "Is there anything wrong?" asked a saleslady. "Nope," he said, I'm just waiting for my gum to come around again.

Wandering Forest

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