Can you use an alternate email while on AOL? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Had to laugh when I read that Lindsay Lohan was "angry about
getting sentenced to 120 days". 
Booo hooo.
The cutesy dingbat did not realize that she got the 120 days 
not so much for stealing a necklace, but for fighting the 
conviction, even though she was on tape!

And now she paid $75,000 bail to be out while appealing the
120 day sentence. She obviously STILL has not learned her 

The $75,000 are just ID-10-T tax, of course, since the dingbat 
is bound to get caught for something or another between now
and her next court appearance. Superior Court Judge Stephanie 
Sautner is probably laughing her butt off about it.

Have FUN!

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I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. --- Victor Borge Among the English language's many puzzling words is "economy," which means the large size in soap flakes and the small size in cars.
Baby camel to his dad, "Dad, why have we got such big feet?" "so that we can carry our masters through the hot shifting sands of the desert where no other animal can go," replied Dad. "Dad, why have we such long spindly legs?" "So that we can carry our masters through all the prickly thorn bushes in the desert without scratching their legs," replied Dad. "Dad, why do we have such big humps on our backs?" "So that we can carry our masters for long distances across the desert without stopping for food or water," replied Dad. "Dad, why our we sitting in the back of this pickup truck?"
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SUE: "Karen, do you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?" KAREN: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair. SUE: But your husband is still alive. KAREN: I know, but his hair is gone.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to dopey pilots in New Mexico Cocaine floating in N.M. lake after plane crash State police divers have recovered what a spokesman describes as "fragmented pieces of human remains" from a northern New Mexico lake where authorities have been finding bundles of cocaine since a small plane crashed into the lake. State police spokesman Lt. Eric Garcia said he doesn't know if the remains found Monday belong to more than one person or if there are more remains. The plane, the pilot and any passengers haven't been identified, he said. Winds and current have caused plane debris to spread since Sunday's crash, but more than 20 packages of cocaine have been recovered. Dive team members, who were working 100 feet below the water's surface Monday afternoon, recovered only small pieces of the plane the largest about the size of a piece of paper, Garcia said. Divers have found nothing that would identify the aircraft, but "the more the water gets rocky, the more debris turns up," he said. The human remains have been turned over to the state Office of the Medical Investigator. Witnesses reported the plane crashed into Heron Lake, about 100 miles north of Santa Fe, at about 10:30 a.m. Sunday. Lake patrol officers found several packages of cocaine, each weighing about a kilogram, or 2 pounds, floating on the lake. State police have blocked the road to the lake to stop people from getting into the area while the search continues. Air trafficking historically has been a significant issue for Southwest border states, state police Chief Robert Shilling said Monday. "I won't say it's keeping us super busy and we're interdicting a plane a week, but ... air smuggling in New Mexico always has been and will continue to be an issue for law enforcement," Shilling said from state police headquarters in Santa Fe. The largest problem now comes from ultra-light craft used in trafficking along the southern border, he said. A couple of commercial pilots staying at a cabin on Heron Lake told CBS affiliate KRQE that they heard the plane circling above them, then the sound of the engine changed and the next thing they heard was a boom.
From Mark Re: Can you use an alternate email while on AOL? Dear Webby, My boss is way behind on her ID-10-T taxes and insists that we dial up through AOL, because she has a stack of those Free AOL CDs. We get all the spam, but we lose way too much of real mail. Pus of course, most customers lauch and snicker when they see our addresses and ask if we are a real business. Is there a way to get reliable mail even when you are on AOL? Mark Dear Mark Yes, sure there is! You can use web mail based on your domain name, or Gmail. You can use either of those and even process them with a full-featured professional email program like Eudora, Pegasus, Outlook, Thunderbird, etc., just like the real businesses do. Have FUN DearWebby
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Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. Liz replied: "Yeah, I can understand that. I feel that way too when I eat my hubby's cooking!"
Daily tip from Switch Burners When Simmering This is a tip for when you are cooking something that needs to be brought to the boil and then simmered for a period of time. If you are using an electric stove, you know that it takes considerable time to cool down that burner so that the simmering can begin. To avoid the wait, and possible boiling over, just turn on another burner (of the same size) on "low" and transfer your boiling pot to it. Turn off the original burner, of course. No more boiled over sauces, soups, or chili. By Ginny W from Murrells Inlet, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding doctor: "After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal." "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor. "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on the third floor!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, "Damn...3 .2 meters!" The second one looks furtively around and says, "No police, anywhere. try it!"

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