Online Election Fraud 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Election is over. Because our system is straightforward and without
the complicated weighting of votes and electoral college and 
exceptions, an hour after the polls closed in the Yukon, the results
were final.

After a short one month campaign, the parties, that reneged 
on the coalition and forced a hockey season election, 
got skunked. Now they are no longer part of the Government.
Harper got a clear majority and the renegades are now just 
hecklers, who don't count. It makes no difference if they
vote in parliament, or even show up to vote.

The US usually follows Canada. Expect a similar pro-economy 
swing to the right next year. Actually, I hope the economy will
anticipate and start gearing up even before the election, just
like business lost confidence and went elsewhere even before 
the last election.

Have FUN!

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By definition, a government has no conscience, sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. --- Albert Camus "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often." --- Oliver Herford "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face." -- Jack Handey
Thanks to Vernon for this story: I was the last to leave the office one Friday evening and managed to lock myself out without my jacket and wallet. Kneeling in a deserted hallway to try picking an electronic lock with a paper clip, I heard the seam of my suit trousers rip apart. About then I realized I needed a screwdriver to remove the lock plate, and said so, aloud. Seconds later the elevator doors next to my office opened, revealing a screwdriver in the middle of the floor. There was a crackle from the wall speaker next to the elevator. "This is security," said a sexy female voice. "There's your screwdriver. Sorry, but I don't have a needle or thread for your pants!" ----------------- Bet you that screwdriver did not help him with neither the lock nor the pants. The screws on the outside are dummies that are only intended to keep a wannabe intruder busy long enough, so that building security can call the cops or find a big stick.
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On the first Sunday the new preacher only preached for10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way: The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were still hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
Thnaks to Donna for this picture of her Rare Point Tree. Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sharry M. Long, 54, in Springfield, Ohio DUI arrest occurs on way to face DUI charge SPRINGFIELD — A 54-year-old Clark County woman was arrested on a charge of driving drunk Wednesday while on her way to face a similar charge in court, according to a police report. Sharry M. Long was taken to the Clark County Jail and is scheduled to be arraigned this morning. She was arrested after the Clark County Sheriff’s Office received a call that the operator of a white Ford Escort was driving erratically on north Ohio 41 from Newlove Road. A deputy later reported spotting Long traveling on East High Street and driving left of center. Long overcorrect and almost hit a parked car, according to the deputy’s report. The deputy stopped Long at East High Street and Oakland Avenue for a left-of-center violation. The suspect appeared to be under the influence of alcohol and / or drugs because she had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and had trouble staying awake, according to the report. When asked to exit the vehicle, she reportedly had trouble placing the car in park. Long’s vehicle was towed from the scene. She also had several prescription medications that instructed her to avoid operating machinery, officials said. Long was arrested March 17 on a charge of driving drunk and was arraigned March 29. She pleaded not guilty. Her pre-trail was scheduled for Wednesday, but was re-scheduled for May 16 following her arrest Wednesday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Maryann Re: Election fraud Dear Webby, I got severely yelled at today and told I will be charged with election fraud, because I put our Atlantic Canada results onto the web, while voting was still going on in the West. I know it's not proper, since it could influence voters, but is it that serious? Maryann from Quebec Dear Maryann In your case, it probably didn't influence anybody and was just for amusement, but the law is the same for everybody. Quebec is a recipient province, that gets Billions of Social Assistance from the contributor provinces, so it was quite predictable, that most Quebecois would vote Socialist. However, hearing the actual results from you could theoretically stampede the Westerners and cause them to drag people, who would otherwise not have voted, to the polls. So you see, how that gossiping COULD be considered illegal electioneering on election day. IF you had a huge audience, or if somebody leaked your information to a busy site, it could swing a few seats. The way British Columbia, a former NDP province, swung to the right at the end, some people are bound to argue that was because of gossipers like you. I doubt that they can demand a re-vote this time, but such gossiping COULD wind up getting expensive! I doubt that you will get more than a warning this time, but it would be a very good idea to be a quiet observer four years from now. Have FUN DearWebby
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The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way..... The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
A customer at Morris Green's' Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Morris replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it: Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Morris. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Morris. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Morris," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already."
Daily tip from Make Your Own Take Along Coffee Packs I love fresh brewed coffee. To make my own take along packs, I place a teaspoon or maybe a tablespoon of ground coffee into a coffee filter along with aspartame sugar and powder creamer, and fold the filter in from the sides and down from the top. I secure it with one staple like they do on tea bags and I have take along fresh brewed coffee. I can add them to hot water, heated in the microwave where ever and whenever. I make loads of these and keep them in an old empty glass lidded jar for at home and put some in a small zipock bag for my purse. This is much cheaper than buying them premade, and I can specialize them with any flavor I like. By Kimsukie from Florissant, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, dried or canned ?"
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A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said to the judge: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up."

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