When it is not safe to send mail 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 5, 2011

Some of you received yesterday's Humor Letter in raw HTML.
Sorry about that! Well, you finally saw what all goes into the cake,
that you get, nicely kneaded and baked. 
Last night on the first send, I forgot to bake it.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
" It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. " --- William Blake Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --- Samuel Goldwyn Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. --- Socratex
Cindy runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the Cindy takes the children to the park to play, when a woman walks up and notices Cindy and her daycare kids. She asks her, "Are all these kids yours?" Cindy replies, "No, I have two of my own." The woman proceeds to ask which two are hers. Cindy laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center." The other woman asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?" Cindy looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."
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Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ann Marie Hernandez, 46, of Pompano Beach, Florida Credit card cheater hides card in vagina Authorities in Florida said they arrested a woman who was concealing a fraudulent credit card and a counterfeit driver's license in her vagina. The Lee County Sheriff's Office said Ann Marie Hernandez, 46, of Pompano Beach, was pulled over at about 7 p.m. Friday on Interstate 75 and deputies discovered more than $5,000 worth of items purchased with a fraudulent credit card in her car, and Hernandez was found to be concealing the fraudulent credit card along with a counterfeit driver's license in her vagina. When a female cop was called to the scene, Ann decided she was screwed, so she reached up and fished the cards out herself. She had used the cards to buy more than $5,000 worth of stuff. About half of it was in her car when she was pulled over.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Miona Re: Not safe to mail out Dear Webby, I hope you don't mind too much if I write you even though I know my computer is infected. I know you are properly protected. My computer came with what I thought was good anti virus utilities, but even though it is only a few months old and has updated the virus stuff regularly, it got infected anyway. I need to write to my dad to come and clean it up for me and install better virus protection, but I don't dare writing him from an infected computer. I can't call him at work, and at home he's always on-line and I can't call him there either. What else can I do ? Mina Dear Mina You can send him an Internet postcard. There are tons fo sites from which you can send postcards, even from my dad's site at http://dawna.com A few others, that you could check aout are: Actioncat Angeleyes Angelwinks and so on. That is just in the "a"s in the alphabet. Postcards sent with the Mypostcards system are 100% safe. Nothing from your compuer is sent, you simply visit a site, compose a card with the pictures and music available there, and send it off. And it is free. Have FUN DearWebby
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The new teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. "Johnny, I will not continue 'til you put your hand over your heart." Johnny replied, "It IS over my heart." After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?" "Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and MY Grandma wouldn't lie."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses For Single Socks Having 5 young children it seems I am eternally ending up with "onesie" socks. I have been putting them to good use for my little ones by using them as a holder for ice pops and frozen yogurt in plastic sleeves. It protects their little hands from getting cold and sticky, as well as using up an item of clothing that I have no other use for! By Robin from Belmont, MI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Paul and his wife Lorna had moved to Arizona and were experienceing their first real heat wave. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Paul as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "They'd probably think that I married you for your money."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. Whenever he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more coffee, and I didn't feel like making another pot this close to the end of my shift."

Flying Clippers

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