Bin Laden Trojan 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 10

Sorry about using two Ts in Scotland!
Two alert Scots noticed.

As expected, a whole bunch of English people got right 
hysterical and insisted on pointing out that just winning the
election does not mean separation and independence.

Don't worry. That is what I had written. The Scots won't 
deprive themselves of their favorite sport, telling jokes about
the English and annoying them just a wee tad more than
wot the Irish do. However, for a mere 110% of the money
from the North Sea oil and gas, they will back off and 
postpone the separation referendum.

Have FUN!

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The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man...only five hundred. --- Meredith Willson
As a new bride, Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Jack left the box alone, until Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to Edna and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you." Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice. "What's the $82,500 for?" he asked. "Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."
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Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask. Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time." Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?" Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid." Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another Polish pope?" God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in My life time."
Click through the picture to the large version. I wish!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carth Henry Hunt Jr., 56 in Spotsylvania, VA Alibi is unbearable A man's attempt to blame his fresh wounds on a bear didn't save him from a burglary charge Thursday night. Spotsylvania sheriff's Lt. Col. Michael Timm said Deputy Patricia Purcell went to The Little Academy in the 4700 block of Plank Road shortly before 10 p.m. in response to an alarm activation. She immediately noticed a broken door and saw a man walking toward her from the rear of the business and eating a banana. Purcell asked the man if he knew what had happened, and he motioned toward the front of the building, where a glass door had been smashed. Asked about a bleeding cut on his forehead, Timm said the man explained that he lives in the woods near State Routes 3 and 20 and was chased by a bear two days ago. Suspicious of the man's bear story and his level of intoxication, Purcell detained him for further questioning. Detectives found glass shards in the mud on the bottom of the man's boots, and a police dog tracked a scent from inside the business to where Purcell had seen the man walking, Timm said. Along the track police found a banana peel and rocks that matched rocks found near the broken glass. The business owners arrived and told police two laptop computers were missing. The man later said that they might want to look on the roof because "if I took them, that's where I would hide them." The computers weren't found, but 56-year-old Carth Henry Hunt Jr. was charged with burglary, grand larceny, vandalism and public intoxication. He was placed in the Rappahannock Regional Jail under no bond. While searching for a mug shot, I notied quite a lenthy rap sheet. Carth Henry Hunt Jr. has done time for burglary a few times before.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: Osama Bin Laden trojan via facebook Dear Webby, I heard that a really wicked trojan is getting spread via Facebook, but my son told me that is just moron-tax, and somebody would have to be extremely dumb to fall for that. What is the real story? Ellen Dear Ellen I would agree with your son. Especially if you don't have good protection on your computer, don't click on anything suspicious. Links to items about popular topics involving Obama, Osama, and other disreputable characters are best left untouched, especially when they are from somebody you don't know. Have FUN DearWebby
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The other day I observed a rather funny scene at the golf course across the river. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new looking set of golf clubs into the river. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the river, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water.
Daily tip from No Mess Frozen Rolls Find a good dinner roll recipe that states it will freeze well. Cut the rolls and place one dinner's amount inside a wax paper pocket and insert into a freezer zipper bag. Tomorrow, this weekend, next week, you just pull out one of the bundles to thaw. You don't have a big frozen blob of dough to fight with and you don't handle all the rolls by trying to pull apart just enough for tonight. By Kelli from Sentani, Indonesia Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant -- an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it." The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' He sat up all night watching me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked Morris, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes west longitude...?" After a confused silence, Johnnie offered this as his answer, ...."I guess you'd be eating alone.... None of US can swim THAT far out into the ocean!"

China, not just Pandas

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