Are the "Obama turning white" mails malicious? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 16

Saturday was nice and warm, so I was quite surprised when I
saw my neighbor raking the dry and matted stuff out of her
lawn and wearing a parka. Then her husband showed up to help
her, wearing a fleece hoodie and gloves. 

It turned out to be 6 degrees above freezing with a nasty wind.
I decided to postpone yard work until the weather gets a bit 
more civilized. Plenty of work to do inside.

Have FUN!

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A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward. --- Jean Paul Richter Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. --- Kin Hubbard
Here is another good message for telemarketers who try to be a nuisance at the most inconvenient time: "The answering machine is sick. This is the microwave. If you want to cook your brain, - just hold your stoopid telephone to your head." If you don't want to use your voice, go to Text to speech and paste or type it in. You can select all kinds of different personalities and accents, plus many different effects, like airport style reverb, or bullhorn or flanger or speed, etc. Caution! Some of you might wet your pants from laughing too hard while trying different accents and effects! For a really funky robotic effect try Lee (Australia) and set Pitch to "Higher" For a voice, that really means it, try Moira (Irish) and set the reverb to ON. Once you have a national accent and effect that sounds as different from you as possible, record it as a wav file, make a shortcut to it so that you can play it by double-clicking the shortcut icon.
Have I got a deal for you! Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97! What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the time and two to ten times the crop per square foot? Yes, it sure is! It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish. Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal! You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs. If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab Aquaponics, while it is on sale! AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books! By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!

A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.
. Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Roses in the weeds
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ellenbeth Wachs, 48, in Lakeland, Florida Serious Bimbo Malfunction Atheist Official Elisabeth Wachs Charged With Simulating Sex Act In her second arrest this year, the Atheists of Florida's legal coordinator was jailed Sunday on a charge of simulating a sex act in the presence of a 10-year-old boy. Ellenbeth Wachs, 48, of Lakeland, is accused of purposely making noises from inside her home March 13 to pretend as if she were having sex while the boy and his father overheard, according to the Polk County Sheriff's Office. Wachs made the noise in an effort to make the boy stop playing basketball outside her house on Lake Victoria Drive, a complaint affidavit says. She told him to stop shooting baskets because she was trying to sleep. A Polk County sheriff's detective began investigating after the boy's father, Otto Lehman, filed for an injunction for protection against Wachs in April. A complaint affidavit says the boy played basketball in front of their home, beside Wachs' home about 8:30 a.m. and she yelled through an open window for him to stop. Lehman and his son, Forrest, returned later and she started to yell "Oh John," repeating it "over and over again and kept increasing the volume until it was a loud scream," according to the complaint affidavit. Wachs was also moaning and making other sounds out the open window, that "sounded like a woman experiencing sexual gratification in an extremely loud fashion," the affidavit says. She continued until the father and son left the area. On March 3, Wachs was jailed on a charge that she posed as a licensed lawyer, but was out on bail. After the second arrest she was kept in jail for a few days. She has since been released on bail again, but warned to behave and stay away from the Lehmans.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chris Re: is "Obama turned white" a scam? Dear Webby, Are mails and facebook notices about Obama allegedly turning white like Michael Jackson just virus bait, like the scammy stuff about Osama Bin Laden one or two weeks ago? Chris Dear Chris All I have seen so far are photos making fun of the initials for his re-election campaign. In those pictures he does appear to have undergone a face lift, ear-tuck and Michael Jackson style whitening, but it's just plain photos like this one, without anything malicious attached. As long as you don't have to click on anything or download anything, you are quite safe. Have FUN DearWebby
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Thanks to Janet for this one: We had made some changes in our diet. My husband lost 50 pounds and I lost 15. I felt good and active again and after eight years of being a housewife, I took a job in a restaurant. When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my husband a big hug. He seemed to cling to me longer than usual. "Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked. "No," came the reply. "But you smell so much like decent food, that I hate to let go."
Daily tip from Use Teacups As Votive Holders If you have teacups you want to display, maybe mismatched ones you don't want to get rid of, try this. Put a votive candle in them and place them on a stack of books on a bookshelf or an end table. There are many ways to decorate with them. A friend of mine does this and it looks very cute. By Amy from Oklahoma City, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
A father was examining his son's report card. "One thing is definitely in your favor," he announced. "With grades like that, you couldn't possibly be cheating."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He was surprised to see God Himself at the Pearly Gates, but God explained that this was St. Peter's day off, and since things were rather slow these days, He, God would check him in and show him around. Well, Heaven turned out to be everything the man had always been told: angles flying around, playing harps, reading, and just enjoying the things they had on earth. There were also pets there, and they were right by their earthly masters. Presently, God and the man arrive at a long section of cubicles, with one way mirrored wall that you coud look in, but just saw mirrors from the inside. In each of these cubicles, there was just one person. "What's this section Lord?" the man asks. "Oh this is the section for those people who think they're the only ones up here!" the Lord answers.

Decades of dress code

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