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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 21

Thank you, Melissa!
Thank you, John!
Thank you Ron!
Thank you, Doug!
Thank you Frank!
Thank you, Ann! 

It sure was a hectic birthday. In the morning I had to get my 
feet checked. Apparently, diabetics at my level ae not supposed 
to do their toe nails and sand their callouses themselves, because
you can't feel it, when you go to deep, and before you know it,
you caused a problem, that won't go away. So Chris at Aestyou
takes care of my feet once a month.

After that things went downhill. At the post office there were
disconnect notices from the phone company, the electrical
company, and the gas company. 

So I started phoning people, who owe me money, and asked
Barb to come in and do her fancy account shuffling.
By mid afternoon we managed to postpone the end of the world
to the end of the month.

Then I got Ophelia Dingbatter's birthday present. 
She asked her subscribers to send me a donation.
Six of them did!

I was able to put a few more dollars onto the overdue utility
invoices, and kept enough mad money to buy myself a small steak
at the store.


Have FUN!

If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --- Doug Larson I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity. --- Tom Stoppard
Thanks to Sandie for this: I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this"? I indignantly asked my husband. "What"? he asked. "The wrinkles"?
Gluten Free Low Glycemic Cookbook for Diabetics, Allergy Sufferers and all food sensitive people. This Cookbook is gluten-free, low-glycemic, allergy-aware with meat, vegetarian and vegan options throughout. There isn't another product like it on or offline! Yes, it's unique! Get Fun with GF/LG Food now!

"Sir," said the timid employee to his boss, "my wife says I'm to ask you for a raise." "Fine," the boss replied. "I'll ask my wife if I can give you one."
.Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittanie Wagner, Bradenton, Florida Vain 21 year old runs over her father MAY 19--Driving without her glasses, a 21-year-old Florida woman early today struck a pedestrian walking on the side of the road. But it was only until Brittanie Wagner was pulled over by a cop for leaving the scene of an accident, that she realized the victim was her own father, according to a police report. Wagner told investigators that she initially thought she hit “an animal or a garbage can” while driving along a Bradenton street around 1 AM. But when her passenger said that a person was actually struck, Wagner arrived at an unfortunate realization. “Oh my God I hit my Dad,” Wagner exclaimed to her friend, since her father was the only one typically walking on that road at that time of night. Wagner, pictured smiling for the police mug shot, told cops that she came to that conclusion “not because she recognized him but because she knows he always walks on that particular roadway.” It was more or less an admission to knowing she hit somebody, she just had not realized she had hit her own father until the cops stopped her. According to Wagner’s fiancé, Kevin Rodriguez, she was serving as designated driver for a friend who was intoxicated. Oliver Wagner, who was treated at a local hospital for minor injuries, was helping to arrange his daughter’s release this afternoon from the Manatee County jail, said Rodriguez. The car was damaged but is repairable. In addition to the leaving the scene of an accident count, Wagner was charged with failing to obey a restriction on her driver’s license requiring her to wear eyeglasses while operating a motor vehicle.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: Facebook Cursor Hi Webby, Another question for you....I am not a Face Book participant, but for some unknown reason my cursor lights up with a Face Book icon when I cross over some subjects while on line. I have never even visited Face Book to see what it's all about. How can I get rid of this annoying icon?? You've been having some very beautiful pictures as of late.... Thanks, Carol Dear Carol I have never seen that and can't find any mention of that problem anywhere. Maybe one fo the readers has seen it r heard about it? If anbody knows about that Facebook cursor problem, please hit reply and tell me! Have FUN DearWebby
Magic trick: The Revelation Effect - Mentalism and Mind Reading! The Revelation Effect is the #1 Mentalism and Mind Reading Trick that you can do Anywhere, Anytime to Anyone. 100% effective mind reading! Not intended for serious interrogation, but for entertainment. Quickly become an effective magician and awe your audience! Get the Revelation Effect!

This one is a classic: Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. "Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open upm and the phone was already ringing non-stop. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook." He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the phone was still ringing anf getting me more than a bit annoyed. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke. You can imagine the stench of that mixed up perfume overload! Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me Mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Pet Hair with Washcloth Removing pet hair from any cloth surface is easy if you use a damp washcloth. Wipe cushions or clothing in one direction only and the hair will lift off. You can also try a damp sponge mop to remove pet hair from your carpets. Again wipe in one direction only and the hair will just pile up and can be easily picked up by hand. Source: Dog Fancy Magazine By Teri from Tionesta, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When my neighbor's son Billie came home from college for the summer, it only took him 2 seconds to recreate the "look and feel" of his dorm room. He opend his suitcase and his backpack, and rotated rapidly about three times. He used to be quite a snappy dresser in highschool, and his parents were quite disenchanted when they noticed that his dressing style had dropped to about the same level as the organization in his room. Over dinner, they tried to touch on the informal versus formal dress codes that life outside of college might require. Billie, however, shared his own firmly held dress code guidelines: 1. informal: sock (s) not required 2. semiformal: two socks required 3. formal: both socks must match
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Several women were visiting an elderly friend who was ill. After awhile, they rose to leave and told her; "We will keep you in our prayers." "Just wash the dishes in the kitchen," the ailing woman said, "I can do my own praying."

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