Growing Older 

Q:   Where can single men over the age of 50 find younger women who are interested in them?
A:   Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q:   What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A:   Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q:   Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true?
Where can it be found?
A:   Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."

Q:   How can you increase the heart rate of your over-50 year-old husband?
A:   Tell him you're pregnant.

Q:   How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A:   Take off your glasses.

Q:   Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A:   Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q:   Why should 50-plus year old people use valet parking?
A:   Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q:   Is it common for 50-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A:   Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q:   As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A:   Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q:   Where should 50-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A:   On their foreheads.

Q:   What is the most common remark made by 50-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A:   "Gosh, I remember these!"

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