Is Word Perfect still around? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 24

Thank you, Teresa!
Thank you, Sig!
 My Heroes!

Looks like Sheikh Obama backpedaled from his idea, 
that Israel should retreat to a 9 mile wide country, like it
was before 1967, after Netanyahu told him that won't happen
until after the US gives Texas back to Mexico. 
To Sheikh Obama's surprise, Texas apparently won't 
cooperate either.
 
Have FUN!
DearWebby



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There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." --- Will Rogers
One night Buffy brought her boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance; fake leather jacket, cowboy boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Buffy," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
Do you remember the smell and taste of REAL tomatoes? REAL tomatoes, that you could bite into, and smell a tomato sandwich from across the room? If you prefer REAL tomatoes like that, over the bland, tough- skinned stuff, that has been modified for mechanical harvesting, long distance transport and the convenience of the stores, the answer could be on your balcony or window sill. Organic Tomato Magic Use Method, not chemicals!

Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so she could go visit HER sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train so that she could manage our house over the weekend, while my wife was gone and I was out coaching. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train ten minutes before my wife arrived. One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over. "Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going! But one of these days the 5:25 train is gonna be late and you're gonna get caught!"
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Darin Hickman, 46 of Staten Island, NY He also earned a Darwin Award. Thief jumps 200 feet and survives dies. ELIZABETH, N.J., May 22 (UPI) -- A Staten Island, N.Y., man out on bail for allegedly stealing an expensive handbag survived a 200-foot jump after allegedly stealing another one, police say. Hickman had a lengthy criminal record dating back to at least the 1980s, and his third stint in New York state prison -- for a 2005 possession of stolen property and a forged instrument conviction -- ended in February 2010, according to public records. New York Port Authority police were chasing Darin Hickman, 46, after he allegedly shoplifted a tony Louis Vuitton purse from a mall in New Jersey. Just as Hickman got close to the Goethals Bridge in Elizabeth, N.J., he rammed a police car, causing his Mitsubishi Diamante to catch fire, the New York Post reported Sunday. Hickman jumped out of the car and bolted down the highway and then he made a totally unexpected move, police said. "Suddenly, he makes a hard left -- and falls 200 feet!" an officer on the scene marveled. "I still, to this moment, can't believe what I saw. This mope threw himself off a bridge, and has no external injuries and seems to be fine." When police and firefighters discovered Hickman alive and breathing, all he wanted to know was, "How's my car?" the officer said. The alleged robber was out on bail for stealing a comparable Louis Vuitton bag worth $2,500 last week. Jones said that initial reports stated Hickman, who was captured by the authorities in the marsh, appeared to be uninjured. "He seemed to be coherent and conscious," Jones told The Item. However, Hickman apparently suffered internal injuries and was transported to University Hospital in Newark, where he died around 11:26 a.m.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Darla Re: Is Word Perfect still around? Dear Webby My gramma wrote a lot about the family history, but it is all in Word Perfect format. Can that be converted, or is Word perfect still around? Darla Dear Darla Word Perfect is still around and still has Millions of loyal fans and users. It is part of the Corel Office suite now. You can run it in Word Perfect Mode, Word Perfect Classic (5.1) Word Perfect Legal or Microsoft Word mode. Typists and correspondents, who get paid according to how many letters they answer per day, swear by the Classic 5.1 mode. That's the 100 words per minute crowd. Legal transcribers are also quite fanatic about it. All those modes are not different versions. You simply select which mode you want to use for any file. Corel Office is priced professionally, however, you can usually get previous year's versions at eBay for $10 - $50. Corel Office also includes Quattro, my favorite spreadsheet program. You can also use Open Office. It will pick up Word perfect files and will even let you save them bak into that format. Have FUN DearWebby
Aquaponics is back! They were just overwhelmed with orders and their server could not cope. Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97! Actually, if you act like you were leaving the site, you can get it all for $19! What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the time and two to ten times the crop per square foot? Yes, it sure is! It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish. Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal! You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs. If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab Aquaponics, while it is on sale! AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books! By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!

Anna's third-grade class students were bombarding her with questions about her newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" Little Johnny tried answering that one: "Well, the way your ears stick out like a open barn doors, I could do it from fifty feet with my '22." Ann breathed a sigh of relief. She had been afraid somebody would ask if they got both ears with one shot.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ice Cream Sundae Bar for Memorial Day An easy dessert for your backyard Memorial Day gathering is to set up an Ice Cream Sundae "bar" with several varieties of ice cream, toppings, chopped candy bar and cookie pieces, whipped cream, and cherries, of course. Kids love it and adults get pretty creative too! Don't forget the extra napkins! http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of the bride, "As you give your daughter's hand to the bridegroom, you should say something nice to him." The father, a grocery-store manager, took the advice. During the wedding ceremony, he placed the bride's hand on his son-in-law's arm and said: "No deposit, no return."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well. About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman, that was not my wife!" His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

Storm Clouds






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