What is so special about Word Perfect 5.1? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 25

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says Europe 'stealing Iran's rain'. 
Iran's version of Sheikh Obama, president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 
has accused Western countries of plotting to "cause drought" in 
Iran by using high tech equipment to drain the clouds of raindrops.

Because Mother Nature doesn't like bullshitters, moments after the 
Iranian president made the startling claim at the inauguration of 
a dam in a central province, it started to rain. 
He got soaked.

Amazing what some boneheads will do to amuse us!
Have FUN!

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"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --- Sam Brown "A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time." --- Jay Leno
Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandma in bloomers." Cashier reply's: "That'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!"
Do you remember the smell and taste of REAL tomatoes? REAL tomatoes, that you could bite into, and smell a tomato sandwich from across the room? If you prefer REAL tomatoes like that, over the bland, tough- skinned stuff, that has been modified for mechanical harvesting, long distance transport and the convenience of the stores, the answer could be on your balcony or window sill. Organic Tomato Magic Use Method, not chemicals!

Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?"
Thanks to Debbie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Dear Webby, Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate all your time and effort answering my questions, I don't know how you do it! Do you actually answer all your email or do you little elves helping you? I wanted to share this picture I took here in S.C. on my mother's deck, Debbie Dear Debbie There are no elves around here, but sometimes it gets rather late. DearWebby
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Hallock, 27 in Sebastian, Florida Son Arrested after Explosives Burn Mother SEBASTIAN, Fla. -- A Sebastian man faces charges of making a destructive device after an explosion in a shed behind a home sent his mother to the hospital. Investigators say 27 year-old Andrew Hallock was actually responsible for two explosive devices. Sunday afternoon, Hallock's mother, 63 year-old Nancy Galuppo, was cleaning out a shed behind her home on Shakespeare Street when an explosion nearly blew out the walls. Galuppo was flown to Orlando Regional Medical Center where she is in critical condition. While questioning Hallock, detectives discovered there was a second improvised explosive device in Hallock's home on Mulberry Street. That device was detonated overnight at the Sebastian airport by the St. Lucie County Sheriff's Bomb Squad.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elsie Re: What is so special about Word Perfect 5.1? Dear Webby What is so special about Word Perfect 5.1? I have seen it even on employment application forms and often wondered what's the big deal about an old program like that, when I can use a much newer program. Elsie Dear Elsie Word Perfect 5.1 is the last Word Perfect version, that is not WYSIWIG. There IS a print preview, but for fast professional work, you machine-gun the text in at top speed, then spell-check and proof read, and pretty it up at the same time. In the same spirit of maximum speed, WOP had every function and command available as a hot-key. Especially, when the function keys were still at the left of the keyboard, where touch typists could hit them without breaking their stride, that speeded things up considerably. You didn't have to take a hand off the keyboard and tediously mouse around. Since WordPerfect 5.1 is from before WYSIWIG. The screen is a dark blue, regular text is a greyish white. VERY easy on the eyes. Special formatting is shown in different colors. Yes, it does take some learning and practising, just like piloting a jet takes some learning and practising, but the high performance results are quite desireable. Or were, at one time. In the late 80's and 90's the work flow in offices changed. Computers started to look like fun, and easy enough for execs to use. At the same time, Women's Liberation and unions changed the typing pools. Nowadays the typing is done by execs and agents themselves, and instead of high speed, the emphasis is on the letters to look pretty. Have FUN DearWebby
Aquaponics is back! They were just overwhelmed with orders and their server could not cope. Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97! Actually, if you act like you were leaving the site, you can get it all for $19! What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the time and two to ten times the crop per square foot? Yes, it sure is! It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish. Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal! You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs. If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab Aquaponics, while it is on sale! AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books! By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!

Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. "He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the five little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!" "He said 'Heather, will you marry me'?" Marcy asked. Heather replied, "No, he said 'Tonight I'll pay for supper'."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Jewelery With Ice Cube Trays Use ice cube trays to organize jewelry. A few trays will fit nicely into your bureau drawer, and you can use the divided compartments to keep earrings together and to separate small-chain necklaces. By NatashaLee from New England http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural-history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?" One child was ready with the answer: "Dumb Republicans! They need a union."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose the music they would like to enter the service to. One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me Tender." The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for the family to walk in to the service. Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player, and the family found themselves walking in to, "Return to Sender."

Civil War Photos

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