Setting Eudora to retrieve Gmail 

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It's Friday, June 3
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Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. --- Dan Rather It's useless trying to hold a person to anything s/he says while s/he's in love, drunk or running for office. --- Socratex
George ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older, You are just getting better" for his wife's birthday party. Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said,"Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom." It wasn't until the cake was uncovered at the birthday party in front of all the invited guests that he discovered it read: "YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP, YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."
Apparently nobody is interested in old-fashioned tomatoes. Just in case you are, I still have the link: Organic Tomato Magic
This one is apparently true: A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for Women gathering, and at a reception/cocktail party beforehand, his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
Thanks to Glenda for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Douglas Ellison of Lee, NH Carjacker claims to be from '5th dimension' Wednesday, June 1, 2011 PORTSMOUTH, N.H. (AP) A convicted felon who claimed he was from the 'fifth dimension' has been ordered held on $25,000 cash bail for allegedly using a hammer during a carjacking and then leading police on a multi-town chase along Interstate 95. Douglas Ellison of Lee was arraigned Tuesday in Portsmouth District Court on charges including receiving stolen property, driving while intoxicated and two counts of disobeying a police officer. The Portsmouth Herald reports that in court, Ellison claimed he was from a place in the fifth dimension called "Atmaloke" and that he had a different name. Police say he was on I-95 at about 2:30 p.m. Monday when a woman pulled over to ask if he needed help. He allegedly stole the woman's car. He was stopped when police flattened his tires.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Amy Re: Problems setting Eudora to retrieve Gmail Dear Webby, I just downloaded the version of Eudora in your toolbox for reading my Gmail messages, but I am having trouble getting it to actually download my messages, do you have any tips on how I can get it set up right? Thanks! Amy Dear Amy Set your Gmail to POP follow the guidelines here: Eudora and Gmail There are illustrated step by step instructions there. Have FUN DearWebby
Hyper Tufa? What is it? Have you seen garden and yard containers and art work, that looks like rock or concrete, but is extremely light in weight? That's Hyper Tufa. This book shows you how to make all kinds of garden and yard decorations and art work cheaply and easily. Make everything from artsy stepping stones to x-rated gnomes and garden fairies. The Hyper Tufa book has all the info you need.

Murphy's Law #14: To err is human, but to really foul things up that requires a committee.
Daily tip from Use Soap When Sewing Canvas Frying Pan Bird Bath Being frugal pays off in so many ways. I could not throw my old frying pan, knowing I could find a use for it. I finally used it as a bird bath and a garden accent. By Fe Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:
Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." 3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back." 4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious." 6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." 7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces." 8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew." 9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." 10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well, is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question? Discuss." After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam.

Rolling Hills

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